And yes — this is from both my own 3 births, plus watching thousands give birth in the hospital and talking to millions online. It’s something I think about a lot.

I even did a video on it:

Low Pressure

This is the first thing that came to mind. I felt FAR too much pressure to:

• Clean my house (my husband should step it up more — I’m not saying I’m cool living with it dirty)
• Still attend all the functions
• Put myself into labor
• Manage full life postpartum

Those are just the few that came off the top of my head.

But the reality is you’re going a full on human inside of you, let that be your main goal. Allow the rest of your team to come in and do the other things.

And stop thinking you control so much (like labor) it’s just putting too much on you, and you don’t need that. You control a lot less than the world makes you think you do.

Now, this doesn’t mean you lay on the couch all day. Still use movement to your advantage. I was actually really good at doing stretching and some working out, plus my job was pretty movement-filled. But I wish I’d allowed myself more naps without feeling like I needed to do more….

Want to know more pregnancy tips — check out these posts:

• The Three Biggest Mistakes Labor Patients Make—And How to Prevent Them
• Mistakes You’re Making That Makes Labor Longer
• 5 Mistakes People Make Preparing to go to the Hospital to Have Their Baby
• 5 Mistakes People Make in Their Third Trimester

Live in a State with Maternity Leave

Clearly, you can’t really control this — but gosh, living in California with paid maternity leave was a world different in Utah where I had very few maternity leave benefits.

I had enough sick days to spread out and pay for my health insurance while I was off.

Lucky me.

I’m just saying when you’re considering where to live, especially if you want a family, this should be part of the discussion. That is all.

But, once you’re pregnant it sort of is what it is…. (and I get that).

Check out my full post on maternity leave.

Taken an Out of Hospital Birth Class

My hospital birth class just sucked.

It really made me a great patient, rather than preparing me for birth or to make choices on possible intervention.

Now, not all birth classes are like that. I taught for my hospital and I really tried to prepare them for both what to expect, and how to manage the hospital chaos. But, I think those types of classes are rare. Most nurses don’t re-design the curriculum (or have mangers who let them)…

I recommend this class. Plus, it prepares your partner too, which is a big win.

Want to know more about birth class benefits? — check out these posts:

• Do You Need a Birth Class if You Plan to Get an Epidural
• Alternatives to Hospital Birth Classes
• How a Birth Class Changes Pregnancy, Labor, Birth & Life With Baby
• 6 Lies You Hear About Birth Class
• Why are Birth Classes So Expensive?
• Do Birth Classes Improve Birth Outcomes? What do the studies show?

Kick Counts

I wasn’t the best kick counter — even though Kaiser gave me a laminated book to do them in (let’s remember smart phone apps weren’t really a thing when I was having babies).

I wish I did them better. I tried.

And honestly, that’s all we can do — but the data makes me realize the outcome could’ve been worse because I didn’t pay as close attention to fetal movement as I should have.

I may have been too busy with the dumb things in #1….

Again, your main job is to grow a healthy baby and monitoring fetal movement is one of the best ways to do that in your third trimester. AND Kick counts is an evidence-based way to do them. Grab my cheat sheet on how to do them here:

As a note, I also wasn’t great about SIDS precautions either. I think we can always look back at our parenting journey and wish we’d been a little safer. I definitely tried though, but I should’ve taken the bumpers off. I knew better.

Use a Midwife

I’m talking a Certified Nurse Midwife.

I just think they’re the bomb. There are SO many benefits to them. Most of all they tend to use less interventions and still have really great outcomes with birth.

I’d love one that is tied in well to an OBGYN office as well. More and more practices are allowing midwives to handle care, and consult an OBGYN or a perinatologist when necessary. But, you can still see them, they can help with your delivery, etc.

It works well for overworked OBGYN’s, and allows us to get better care.

I wish I’d used one, but they weren’t available where we had to have our baby — so, such is life.

If you’re not in love with your doctor, and you’re not past 30 weeks yet — check out a midwife in your area.

Again, a certified nurse midwife — abbreviated CNM — they can deliver in the hospitals and provide REALLY great care!

Check out this video with more info:

Get Induced if Needed

If you know anything about my birth story, I resisted an induction even at 12 days overdue and even when I decided on one I cried and cried.

Wasted life.

I had prodromal labor for weeks, my cervix was 5 cm — I honestly just needed my water broken to have that baby but instead I insisted that nature was the way.

I tried all the things to put myself into labor… but why on earth didn’t I just consent to an induction?

I don’t know — but studies really have proven that they’re safe after 39 weeks. I was 100% miserable being pregnant and thought I was going into labor every night. Plus, my cervix was ripe and ready.

I was dumb, I wanted control over things. Like an angry toddler I thought “I do it mySELF” — but ultimately I needed them to break my water. But oh no, there are more dumb Hilary stories ahead — keep reading!

Want to know more about preparing your body? — check out these posts:

• 4 Things You Can Do to Prepare Your Cervix for Labor
• Best Sex Position to Induce Labor?
• Pumping To Induce Labor? Will it work?
• Does Evening Primrose Oil Induce Labor?

Done Perineal Massage

I tore a lot with my first, although he was a forceps delivery, so it’s hard to know if that could’ve been avoided, but perineal massage has been proven to prevent the larger tears. I think it’s worth the effort.

Although the pre-labor-nurse-me might have felt icky about it.

The labor nurse me would’ve been fine with it.

Go Through a Birth Plan with Partner

I wish I’d thought through what I wanted for birth with my partner.

Honestly, I kept him pretty out of the loop — and he maybe could’ve talked some sense into me about the whole not being induced situation as I sat crying to him that my body wasn’t going to go into labor.

That’s what a partner is for — they’re there to talk thinks over. I wish I’d used mine more, but hey — I’m The Pregnancy Nurse — I’ve got this (spoiler alert: I did not).

We all need a partner, and I have a handy birth plan series for both of you right here:

Checked my Vitamins Better

I honestly just took whatever prenatal vitamin Kaiser sold in their pharmacy — but I wish I’d checked the levels better. The more research I’m finding out about Choline and other vitamins — I just think prenatal vitamins are something I could’ve done better on.

I like this guide from my friend Mckenzie who is a Dietician. She gives you the levels you should be striving for, and some good options to take (even if you can’t keep down those giant pills).

Want to know more about prenatal care? — check out these posts:

• Charlie Horses in Pregnancy: What you can do to prevent them?
• Pregnancy, Tylenol® & Autism: What Expecting Moms Need to Know
• Allergies During Pregnancy: What’s Safe and What’s Not
• 7 Habits of Happy Pregnant Women
• Month-by-Month Pregnancy Timeline & To Do List

Prepare Partner More

I WISH (especially on my first) I’d prepared my partner more about what he could do to help me both during pregnancy and birth.

I wish I’d taken a class that talked to him at all.

They were sort of an afterthought in my birth class. Honestly, it wasn’t all that helpful:

A birth class is a GREAT way to do this (even though so many are bad at it). I recommend this one.

Let them Break my Water Earlier

So, as I said above I was resisting that induction and boy oh BOY did I resist them breaking my water.

I knew as soon as my water was broken I couldn’t just go home — I had to have that baby.

So I didn’t let them do it, even though they asked a few times — I said no.

But, as soon as I let them do it — boom. Baby.

As soon as I let go my own control I had my baby.

Honestly, a life lesson. I’m a controller and maybe they did know best.

My bad. I’d do it differently next time.

Prepare for Postpartum

I’m always horrible at this. With my second baby I moved 10 days after he was born, and a few days before birth my mom said — “You know you can’t lift anything when you guys move” — and I was like — I’d honestly never considered my own safety in that scenario…

And yes, I was a labor nurse.

I just thought I could be superhuman. I wouldn’t bleed. Not me, I’ve got stuff to do.

Buying myself pads is always an afterthought.

BTW, if supplies are on your list of things to get — grab my checklist here:

Want to know more postpartum tips — check out these posts:

• First Poop After Delivery: Make it less-hard (literally)
• Your Guide to Your Postpartum Plan with Free Template
• Self Care During Postpartum & Pregnancy
• C-Section Recovery: Tips You’ll Need
• Postpartum Essentials for a Great Recovery

I just wish I’d prepare better for postpartum because I’m really bad at….

Give Myself Grace / Be Kinder to Myself

I know I went over this a bit at the beginning but these are words I type to new moms countless times during the day.

Please be kind to yourself.

Give yourself grace, this is really hard.

They were words I never said to myself.

You’re 5 days out, you should be driving the kids to school, why are you crying so much?

That’s what I said to myself.

I also wish I’d gone on anti-anxiety meds after my last baby. I was having panic attacks almost daily, but I knew it wasn’t postpartum depression so I thought I should just power through. That was a mistake. It’s not right for everyone, but it would’ve made my transition easier.

But, I’m here to say — let other people help. It makes them feel good, and you deserve it. You’re re-populating the earth single-handedly.

And I’m also hear to say that give you a few months and you can be that village that other people so desperately need. We have to be kinder, and more willing to help each other out. Give others grace.

It makes a better world for all of us. I love helping out new moms, it’s one of my greatest joys as a human. Please let me (or someone like me) do it for you.

Be sure to take a birth class that prepares you for realistic expectations postpartum. Far too many of us believe life will be like the photos we see on Instagram. It’s likely not. I recommend this class.

So, those are what I wish I’d done differently. What did I miss? Tell me in the comments!

The post If I had a Baby Again this is What I’d Do Different appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

While you’re here be sure to grab my organized before delivery checklist:

The first question:

Is it safe pain?

Some pains should be sending us right into the doctor’s office, or into the hospital.

While it’s definitely important to talk with your provider about what to watch for YOU in your situation, here are a few questions to ask:

Are these contractions, and am I before 36 weeks? — if so, call provider or go into L&D

Has this pain suddenly gotten worse? That may need to trigger a phone call — especially if it lasts long

Does the pain have any other symptoms like a fever, burning when you pee, sudden fatigue or shortness of breath etc — if so, that triggers a call to your provider or a visit to L&D.

Again, I’d encourage you to ask your provider about problem signs specific to YOU and YOUR pregnancy.

While there are a lot of very NORMAL pains of pregnancy, it doesn’t mean we can’t work to make them better.

Want to know more about pregnancy pains? — check out these posts:

• Bladder Infections in Pregnancy
• 5 Fixes for Groin Pain During Pregnancy
• Sleeping During Pregnancy: Tips by Trimester
• What Does Round Ligament Pain Feel Like
• How to Sit in an Office Chair During Pregnancy

Ok, now that we’ve gotten past that part — it’s important to ask yourself:

Do you want to know if this is NORMAL or if it needs to be FIXED?

I think (once we know it’s “safe”) this is the most important question to ask yourself.

Some pains aren’t that bad — but you worry something is wrong. Things like cramping, short stabbing pains that are tolerable but it sort of feels like your uterus is ripping out of your body….

So, if that’s the case ask your provider if they’re normal.

However, some of the pains we have are affecting our day to day life and can really be problematic.

At that point you want a fix, or at least an attempt at a fix.

This is your reminder that your provider is really there for your health and safety, but does not know all the tips to fixing all the aches and pains of pregnancy. They will need to refer you out, and likely it will take some work on you end to get an appointment and then do the stretches they recommend. This isn’t a quick fix — but you may be wanting to seek for help. And honestly, it may not get all that much better, but if it’s worth a try for you, it should be worth a try for them.

They may have a “first line” of defense to help you in the office — things like some specific stretches to try, a pregnancy belly band, heating packs, in specific spots, etc. Often providers will try those first to maybe fix the problem and safe you the time/effort of finding someone else.

However, sometimes you do need someone else!

People they can refer you to help (there is likely more than this, but these are what I thought of first):

• Physical therapy
• Chiropractor
• Massage

I hear some people saying they went to the physical therapist (one visit) and say “it didn’t help at all” and that’s not what we’re even hoping for with this. It’s likely going to take:

• Changes in your lifestyle, how you do specific movements may need to change and adjust
• It may take multiple visits
• Visiting a few of those people (aka Physical Therapist and a massage therapist)
• You doing work on the days you’re not going in.

I recently had a pretty bad issue, and I was shocked that it took almost a full week of doing the stretching (which hurt a LOT) for it to really show improvement, but then it rapidly started to get better and I felt better by about 10 days in.

I sort of just had to believe she knew what she was doing…. which was hard for this nurse.

And now I do those stretches a few times/month to stay limber, and not have the problem again later on.

However, I know a lot of people feel like…

My Doctor Ignores My Pain — What do I do?

You have to remember that doctors are busy, and the reality is that almost every patient that comes to see them (especially anyone in the third trimester) is experiencing pain.

There is no way for them ascertain how much the pain hurts (and if you’re willing to put the work in to fix it as I mentioned above) and if it’s working taking the time to get you into someone else.

The words that I think really help are:

This is really affecting my daily life, I’m not able to do the things I need to do — who can help me?

I know that sort of sounds dramatic — but I think sometimes it takes that type of talk to make things happen, unfortunately.

If me helping you know the words to say helps you out — check out this. It has a whole provider communication video that can help like this!

Hopefully, when you use words like that your doctor will take the time to see what they can do.

Keep in mind that if you come to the next appointment and haven’t made your appointment with the provider or done their stretches, that makes them wonder if referring you to someone really helps — so I can only strongly recommend you start the ball rolling on your end.

The other bad news I hear a lot is that physical therapists in their area are booked. I’d still encourage you to make an appointment, and maybe call around to see if there is anyone else they could recommend.

It’s tricky because I think a chiropractor can be VERY helpful, but some chiropractors practice so far out of their practice (aka, let me talk about how to deliver your baby) it’s hard for OBGYN’s to refer them out. But, I wouldn’t hesitate to send you to a good one, they are great and manipulating your bones and I think can even be a great compliment to a physical therapist.

You want to look for a chiropractor who is trained in the Webster method. That’s a special certification for pregnancy help (as far as I understand it

And honestly, if you don’t need a referral, you might just start asking around to see if anyone you know has one they liked…. Just know it sometimes takes a few providers before you find the one that’s right for you.

Let me just summarize it in a few points:

1. Decide if you want to know if it’s normal or if you need a fix.
2. Try the first line of defense and see if those are helping
3. Ask your provider for a referral out to get more help if necessary.
4. Be aware that not all pains can be fixed, but hopefully someone can help you manage it better.

Honestly, learning how to navigate the healthcare system is hard. It’s almost like a foreign country.

The bad news is that the hospital will also be quite tricky — which is why everyone needs to get a birth class in.

I recommend this one. It can be done in just a few hours and is such a good foundation for moving through the rest of your pregnancy, labor, birth and life after baby!

The post What to Do If You are in Pain During Pregnancy appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

Before we get going, some of these are those tips “no one talks about” — but I’m here giving the good work every day here at The Pregnancy Nurse® — let me KEEP hanging out with you:

I also have a video based on this post you might find helpful as well:

A note on happy:

I think it’s important to remember that we can’t let our circumstances define who we are as a person. As a nurse who saw thousands of patients I was always impressed by how some people could absolutely thrive in tough conditions, and some would mostly wallow (coming from a family of wallowers).

We can be happy no matter our circumstances, and I think these 7 habits can help a lot too!

Moving Their Hips

Hip pain is unusual at ALL during pregnancy, but there are things we can do to help it and maybe even make birth easier.

Although, every time I say this — it sounds “adult” — but I’m meaning that keeping our hips open and active can be a big win. Honestly, even in the adult way (more on that here) — but let me give you a few other ways:

Deep Squats: This helps both strengthen and stretch our hips to give baby their best way out of the birth canal AND decrease hip/leg pain.

Personally, I’m HORRIBLE at squats (I’m talking about the kind where your bum hovers just above the floor) — and I learned that having a wall or a steady couch behind me REALLY helped. If you don’t know how to get into this position either, please google it — there’s lots of people out there that can help!

Lateral Movement — we’re so much into “walking” type movements (moving in one plane of movement) often we don’t have the time when we’re looking to move our hips OUTSIDE that movement plane. Look for workouts that have you moving your legs laterally. They will thank you!

Stretch Them — Hip stretches can make for a MUCH happier pregnant person. Look for hip prenatal stretches and use them even daily. I’m a huge fan of mobility training where you MOVE in the stretch vs just “holding” it.

Pro Tip: If you have hip pain, ask your provider for a referal to the physical therapist. There is a chance these types of movements (especially when done wrong) can hurt rather than help. I wish I had one earlier, I think it would’ve helped a lot!

Want to know more about the pains of pregnant? — check out these posts:

• Bladder Infections in Pregnancy
• 5 Fixes for Groin Pain During Pregnancy
• Sleeping During Pregnancy: Tips by Trimester
• What Does Round Ligament Pain Feel Like
• How to Sit in an Office Chair During Pregnancy

The Due Date Is a Guess

So many people figure they’ll have the baby by the due date, or even earlier — and, as a mom who went late every time I’m telling you that type of mindset isn’t helping.

Yes, prepare — baby may well come early. You want to know preterm labor signs, and have that car seat and birth class done early — but the reality is most people, who don’t go early (meaning before 37 weeks), go past their due date.

For me, I think it’s smart to think the week after you due date, or even 2 weeks after.

For instance, my daughter was due mid April and I just told people “the end of April” (honestly, the more you say it out loud, the more you believe it) and when she came 12 days late — I wasn’t as devastated if I’d thought “early April” in my mind.

You might also find this post helpful:

Finding Gratitude

There is a lot to hate about pregnancy, I’m right there with you. So much that I wrote a post on the worst parts of pregnancy — but there is also a LOT to be grateful for every day.

• Tiny (or big) kicks
• Providers who take time to listen and care
• A partner who does the dishes (or insert whatever else they’re doing to help out)
• Feet that didn’t explode even though they felt like they would.

I have a daily habit of listing 5-10 things I’m grateful for in my planner. It really just helps me to notice all the good when my mind immediately wants to find all the bad.

Some positive affirmations can help too:

Hydrating

I don’t think it was until the day that I was very dehydrated (with the flu) and got 2 bags of IV fluids at my doctor’s office, I realized HOW. MUCH. BETTER. I could feel by being hydrated.

From that day on I worked to get much more water in to my body — and I know that I felt better because of it.

Did you know the biggest cause of contractions that go nowhere (some people call it false labor) is dehydration.

That means your uterus contracts, and can even be quite painful, but it isn’t pushing baby into the birth canal. It’s mostly just an ornery uterus. And no one wants that.

For me, I try to fill a cup a few times each day so that I have fresh, cold water near me as I work, and try to get in as many fluids before dinner time as I can. I then drank much less to hopefully have to pee less during the night — because sleep is important too!

Getting Prepared Bite-By-Bite

If you’re past 20 weeks I think now is the time to start getting prepared for your birth. From beginning to end (wondering what else you’re missing — check out my month-by-month timeline).

Now, lots of people think that is just following some people on social media — but I’m here to tell you that it is really easy to miss what you need for your birth if you do it in that haphazard way.

I recommend getting a great birth class, and just get going.

I also love online classes because you can review the info you need towards the end as well.

And, don’t worry — even if you’re past 20 weeks, getting started today is the best thing you can do. I actually don’t recommend finishing til’ closer to 32-34 weeks.

Getting prepared a few bites at a time makes it less overwhelming and it builds an inner confidence inside you that you’re going to have a great birth. It’s a big win!

And then yes, you can supplement that with some great experienced providers on social media. Here’s my favorite on Youtube, Tiktok, Instagram and Facebook << be sure to give that a follow on your favorite platform!

Balancing Carbs and Proteins

Sure, no one wants to fail their glucose test, but I gotta say that people who follow the basic gestational diabetes diet tend to feel better during their pregnancy.

It’s not as hard as you think. While I think every pregnant patient deserves a nutrition consult (this one’s my favorite — and yes, she teaches a nutrition bonus video in here), if that’s not in the cards for you — you can follow this:

• Meals: Aim for under 40 g of carbohydrates (yes, you want to be looking at the nutriton labels)
• Snacks: Aim for under 20 g of carbs
• Balance it out with great protein choices like:
  • Nuts or nut butters
  • Cheese
  • Yogurt
  • Meat (remember to heat deli meat beyond steaming)
  • Beans/Legumes

When you do this, you’re just not going to have the highs and lows of blood sugar during pregnancy. Even those without diabetes will experience that more during pregnancy than when they’re NOT pregnant — so it really helps!

So, yes, sometimes I had a chicken breast and a brownie for dinner, but it still evened me out and I felt much better (although, probably less better than if I’d have a better complex carb than a brownie).

And, grab my safe eating guide here for more tips!:

Involving Their Partner

Now, you can’t control your partner (unfortunately — I’ve been married 28 years and still figuring this one out), you can be aware that they can’t read your mind.

A few tips:

Be specific about what your problem is (and try to remember the probably isn’t usually them). Aka:

• The trash is too heavy for me to take out (not “you never take out the trash“)
• My feet REALLY hurt – can you rub them for me (and you may even have to show them HOW to rub them)
• I feel really alone preparing for the baby

A good partner will help to brainstorm how you can make a change for these problems.

Sometimes you have to remind them that you’re not saying these things to hurt their feelings, but that you have changed a lot and are doing so much for this new baby you need help that you didn’t need before.

One of the biggest ones is that women feel alone in preparations for the baby. One of the best ways to start is to take a birth class with them to help them understand what’s going on and how they can help.

A REALLY love that this one is targeted for couples, and even includes questions to start conversations like this. Couples absolutely love that part!

Remember, a lot of the pregnancy battle is with being pregnant — not so much with your partner. So, remembering that you’re fighting the aches and pains pregnancy together rather than alone can help a lot.

Ok, those are the first seven I thought of. Do you have other ones you’d add? Tell me in the comments!

The post 7 Habits of Happy Pregnant Women appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

A note on months vs weeks: We mostly count pregnancy by WEEKS, but as humans it’s much more easy to track by months…. so I’ll include your basic weeks with each month as well. Each month counts as about 4.5 weeks — in case you’re keeping track

AND, if you’re not sure how many weeks you are — I have a handy calculator in my pregnancy calendar post << that one also has some dates to keep in mind with testing, etc.

I also have a pregnancy planner/memory book that you might find helpful as well. It has checklists for a lot of these things too!

I also have a month by month playlist on Youtube:

Month 1-2

(up to week 9)

You may not know this, but your “pregnancy” starts on the date of your last menstrual period (and you’re clearly not pregnant on that day). Most people get pregnant at about week 2, and don’t find out until closer to 4-6 weeks of pregnancy — which is why I combined these.

And yes, that does mean you’re really only “pregnant” for about 38 weeks — in case that helps.

During this month your main goal will be survival and getting prenatal vitamins down. Anything else you do is a bonus. And feel free to send that to your partner.

Honestly, most people don’t feel sick or tired in that first month — but as the baby and placenta start to get bigger you start to feel it…. Fun fact though, I felt tired, but I never felt all that nauseated. You may get lucky!

Your placenta is building and it just takes a LOT of energy these first few months.

Tasks:

• Pick your obstetrics provider (I’m a HUGE fan of midwives — CNM’s, so don’t count them out)
• Get a prenatal vitamin, and start taking it (ideally you’re taking prenatal vitamins anytime you’re of a childbearing age and you could get pregnant)

Not sure which one to take — Feed your Zest has a GREAT prenatal guide here.

Month 3

(9-13 weeks)

Ok, you may be in the very trenches of morning sickness and again — just surviving this month.

Tasks:

• Hopefully have your first prenatal appointment
• Hopefully have your first ultrasound
• Get labwork done (this is important, including the STD testing)
• Ask your provider if you should be taking aspirin

Aspirin is a NEW thing — feel free to check out that podcast episode to learn more about it, or I have more info in this post on preeclampsia.

A few other thoughts:

What if you don’t like your provider? It is SUPER easy to change at this point. In fact, I don’t recommend paying your provider ANYTHING EXTRA until you’re SURE that you’re going to stick with them (some may ask for your copayment up front, but you can put them off early in pregnancy — although, you may have to pay a small copay for the visit, etc).

That first ultrasound? At that first ultrasound you’re usually checking for a heartbeat and checking baby’s size and dates. Babies grow at the same rate during the first trimester so you can more easily tell how far along you are before some babies get bigger and some smaller. I have a whole podcast episode on those types of ultrasound as well.

You most likely won’t be able to tell gender.

Some of you may also have an extra ultrasound for nuchal translucency or any other things your provider wants a peek at.

You may deviate from these plans at any point — I’m speaking just to the GENERAL public and what MOST pregnant families should be keeping an eye on.

Want to know more first trimester tips — check out these posts:

• What Does a Faint Line on a Pregnancy Test Mean?
• 5 Do’s and Don’ts of the First Trimester
• Sleeping During Pregnancy: Tips by Trimester
• 10 Things to Do When You Find-Out You’re Pregnant
• Considering a VBAC: What to do

Month 4

(13-18 weeks — starting your 2nd trimester)

This pregnancy is starting to get serious. Those first few months were about survival, and hopefully at this point you’re looking more towards the future.

Tasks:

• Keep attending prenatal appointments that are about monthly at this point
• Start to think about a birth class, start mulling your options — I recommend this one.
• If you’re on social media, follow some smart people. Here’s my favorite on Tiktok, Youtube, and Instagram — it’s a great way to dip your toe into the learning zone.
• If your provider recommends aspirin we recommend you start it by 13 weeks, so make sure that’s a priority. If they haven’t brought it up — mention it. Everyone should be having that chat!
• Figure out your maternity benefits at work, and possibly switch to a plan that will save you money if you can (and it’s the benefit time at you / your partner’s work)
• Now is the time that most people are announcing their pregnancy to the general public << that post has more info on what to consider when deciding when to announce.

A note on social media: While there are a lot of great sources to learn from online, there are also a lot of really poor ones, so be really mindful about who you’re giving your time, your eyes and your ears to.

Month 5

(18-22 weeks)

Ok, this thing is for real. I’m going to split this up into two parts — tasks for you and tasks for this baby you’re going to need to take care of in a few months!

Tasks for you:

• Your anatomy ultrasound should be happening this month (decide if you want to know the gender in advance — although they can’t always tell)
• Pick & purchase your birth class with a goal to finish in in the next couple of months. Some insurances will cover it.
• Keep attending prenatal appointments. It can be smart to schedule a few out so you have them in your calendar.

Tasks for baby:

While you can totally put a lot of these off, I think it’s smart to be thinking about what you’ll need and what type of budget you’re going to have. Please keep in mind that everyone’s budget and priorities are very different, and that’s OK too. I was very poor with my first baby, and had more money on my 3rd. Still loved them both an awful lot.

• Think about where baby will sleep (and if you need a full room for them) and what sleep space you’ll want (bassinet, crib, playpen, etc)
• It can be smart to start stocking up on diapers early on so the expense doesn’t come as a surprise (you can also hunt for sales)
• Sign up for some freebie lists to get some coupons to apply to sales as well.

While many people are anti-formula promotions, I think it’s smart (even if you plan to breastfeed) to get as many free cans as you can and just stock them away at home — just in case you need them. You never know and I think it’s a good insurance policy. You can always give them to pregnant friends if you find you don’t need them. Formula companies have promotional lists (I list them in that freebie post) and will send you some small free cans!

Month 6

(22-27 weeks)

Ok, this baby is a real deal. You’re liking feeling kicks and jabs frequently to remind you that they’re in there! Hello baby!

Tasks for you:

• They will schedule your glucose test around now — this is super important, don’t miss it (and don’t let social media make you think it’s not important).
• Solidify more about what your work’s benefits are as far as maternity leave. There is a chance you’ll need to take them early if there is complications, so this is important to know.
• Start your birth class
• Don’t stop taking vitamins & aspirin (if recommended) — these are still important!
• Make SURE your provider is a good fit, and you’re good with the hospital they deliver at (it gets trickier to change the further along you are)
• Now really isn’t too early to take a hospital tour — just to know what to expect, or decide what one is right to you if you have some choices (that post has some great things to watch/learn on your tour).

Tasks for baby:

• Make a list of the things you need for this baby. I have a baby necessities post you might find helpful.
• If you want to, now is a good time to start searching for these items on FB marketplace or at used kids stores. You can save a lot of money on these items and they’re barely used! Sometimes it takes a while to find the item you want, but many people score GREAT deals!

Month 7

(27-31 weeks — you’re in your third trimester now!)

Those tasks for babies just sort of continue. You don’t need to feel a lot of pressure to get all the things by now, but it’s smart to slowly build your stockpile, if you can.

Tasks for you:

• Now is the time to start kick counts — they’re super important and that post shares more about them.
• Appointments may seem boring, and often — but still important to see your provider and consider any testing they recommend.
• Learn the signs of labor and watch for any preterm labor signs as you go about your day.

Not sure what kick counts are or how to do them — I have a cheat sheet here:

A note on showers: I thought about putting a shower on here, but I know a lot of people won’t have that type of support (although I wish we all did). I recommend having your shower between 25-30 weeks if you’re going to have one. It’s just nice an early in case baby comes early, and allows you to get the other items you need.

Month 8

(31-36 weeks)

Ok, now it’s time to start building that nest for baby. Some people’s babies will come during this timeframe, but most people’s won’t (and we prefer they do not).

Tasks for you:

• Keep attending appointments
• For some of you they will order 3rd trimester testing. It’s important to know what it is, what it’s checking for and how the results may alter your pregnancy (and birth hopes). The 2nd lesson in here talks about it and I think that’s so smart!
• Finish your birth class this month. Online ones are great because you can review them. This one also has key points that are like cliff notes you can review before birth.
• Rest as you can. Things are going to start getting pretty tiring, and your body needs more rest (but may also make it hard to sleep).
• Learn about some of the ways you can get your cervix ready for labor – think about which you might like to try (if any).
• Have the items you need on hand for YOU after baby is born (pads, etc) — I have a list here:

A lot of people will say to have your birth plan ready by now — and while I think a good birth plan is awesome, really understanding your choices (and learning to make the best ones for you) is the key. Most often you really need a class for this. I also recommend talking to your provider about anything that’s really important to you about your birth — not having an IV, etc as early as possible.

Tasks for baby:

By the end of this month you’re going to want to have:

• A car seat
• A sleep space
• Some diapers
• They’re not necessary, but I love some burp cloths, because babies are messy — but you can use rags if you need to!
• A bottle (just in case) — formulas and bottles if you plan to breastfeed.
• A few onesies/sleepers (depending on the time of year – and how warm/cool it is)
• I’d also recommend seeing if you can get a pump through your insurance — many people use this company (although they will try to upsell you with classes, but that can take away from any lactation visits you can have afterwards, so I wouldn’t recommend adding them). This class comes with a breastfeeding class.

It’s smart to have the bare necessities by 36 weeks, just in case baby comes.

Want to know more 3rd trimester tips? — check out these posts:

• Mistakes You’re Making That Makes Labor Longer
• How to Prepare for Childbirth
• Pumping To Induce Labor? Will it work?
• 35 Weeks Pregnant Checklist
• How To Have A Natural Hospital Birth

Month 9

36-40+ weeks

Tasks for you:

• Try to keep incorporating movement into your life. There’s no way it will look the same as it did a few months ago, but those squats will serve you well as baby heads into the birth canal.
• Avoid thinking you’re going to go early — that’s a trap a lot of people get into and then are disappointed they’re still pregnant at 38 weeks, even though that is VERY NORMAL.
• Keep going to those prenatal appointments, doing the recommended testing, doing those kick counts. All of those things are important (and yes, it does feel like you see your provider more than your family at this point).
• Around 36 weeks they offer GBS testing — I’m a fan and that article has more on it. It’s just nice to know about. They may also offer to check your cervix while you’re there as well.
• Implement the things you’d like to try to get your cervix ready (start around 36 weeks).
• Review anything from your birth class you think you’d like more info on (or if it seems like you might need those interventions like a cesarean or an induction).
• Solidify work plans — when you’ll be on leave, for how long and what paperwork you need to fill out.
• Solidify copays — make sure your insurance hasn’t changed, and be aware of how much you’ll be asked to pay at the hospital (and yes, they will likely ask for some payment — you can’t refuse that).
• I recommend packing the basics in your hospital bag (I have a post on when you should pack it)

Many people feel like they should be having another ultrasound at this point, and many will — but it actually isn’t recommended if you have a low-risk pregnancy. You can always ask your provider though if you’d like a peek, just see what they say.

There’s also a LOT I recommend knowing and “becoming” (aka, confident) at this point. However, a good birth class covers that, I think it’s such a wise investment, and really preps you along the way!

Tasks for baby:

• Install your carseat or at least the base if you have a removable one. I think this is best for the partner, as it’s a whole-body exercise. Bonus points if you get it checked at a car seat installation event (it’s trickier than you think).
• If you haven’t already, think about a:
  • Stroller
  • Diaper bag
  • Any other clothes you need
  • If you’d like a swing or bouncer
  • If you’d like a front pack

I know it can be tempting to get ALL the things early on — but it can also be smart to think about what you REALLY want or need. Every budget is different, so just manage your needs and expectations as you can.

Ok, those are the basics I can think of. What did I miss or do you have more questions? Tell us in the comments so I can flesh out this article to be more helpful for everyone!

The post Month-by-Month Pregnancy Timeline & To Do List appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

But first — I want you to know that this article is being written by an expert. I’ve been a nurse since 1997 and I have looked into pregnancy tests a lot. Not only for my own body (and I had 3 years of infertility with my last one, so I get this) but also helping others understand it more. Plus, all that college chemistry and understanding pregnancy hormones to back this up. I am here to help you have a confident pregnancy even starting with the test! I hope you’ll hang out with me more!

Let’s get this out of the way — there are VERY few false positive pregnancy tests. If you do have a false positive you want to be seen, it could be a hormonal issue you need looked at. There are many more false negatives (for a variety of reasons) than false positives. SO, if there is a line (an actual line) — even if it’s faint it is likely positive.

I do think that it is smart to ask a few people who don’t have hopes and dreams set on that test to look at it…. Lines can magically appear in our eyes when we hope for something so hard (or — on the opposite end hope that it is NOT positive, which I get as well).

If you do think your test is positive be SURE to read my post 5 do’s and don’ts of the first trimester.

Why a faint line?

Most often the line is faint for a few reasons:

The test is old — maybe it’s losing it’s power if you’re using an old test you’ve had hanging around. Getting a new test might be helpful?

Low HCG — this could be that you’re very early in your pregnancy, or you are very hydrated and it thinned-out the HCG in your system. This is why I recommend people take the test first thing in the morning if possible. This is the time that your HCG is most concentrated in your urine.

There isn’t a line — again, hopes and dreams can trick our eyes. So be really thoughtful. Tests are best read in sunlight for the best view vs weird indoor lighting.

Evaporation line — as the pee starts to evaporate there can be an evaporation line, but I think that if you check the test within the timeframe that they recommend in the instructions this shouldn’t be too big of an issue.

What to do if the line is faint?

A light line isn’t unusual — often it’s much lighter than the “control” line (which is annoying, but true).

However, if it’s REAL faint — to the point you’re not even sure that it’s there….

I would recommend waiting a couple of days to take another test. Busy yourself in things you love and can take your mind off of things. HCG actually builds-up very quickly in our systems and you can have a very clear answer on your hands in a few days.

They recommend taking a test after your period likely would have come. That means a couple of weeks after conception for most people. I know you want to take it earlier than that.

That being said — if you’ve had a few eyes look at it and there is a line — that’s a line and likely a positive.

What about a better brand?

While some tests do a digital read-out, and some say they are more sensitive the reality is they’re all basically testing for the same thing (and have to do so to get FDA clearance). I’m a huge fan of the dollar store pregnancy tests. Yes, they’re simple but it doesn’t mean that they are any less effective.

I can also see the reason to get a few brands because they do all do their tests differently — so if you have the cash and are short patience, you can try it — you may still just get negatives or faint lines for the next few days.

I also have a full post on some tests are positive and some are negative that you might find helpful if you want to know more about why there are false negative tests.

But, the reality is much is solved by waiting a couple of days. BUT I also get it, I’m wildly impatient too. So, best of luck to you!

I’d love to hang out with you during your pregnancy — come join me:

Don’t miss any of my other first trimester resources here!

The post What Does a Faint Line on a Pregnancy Test Mean? appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

FYI, in addition to being a nurse for so darn long, I also had kidney stones with my last baby — so I really understand how miserable and annoying these are. I’m right there with you.

FYI: Bladder infections are also called UTI’s (urinary tract infections)….

Signs of a Bladder Infection

The main signs are (and these can be very different than what you’d see when you’re NOT pregnant — even if you’ve had them before signs may be different while you’re pregnant).

Fever – A fever is normally anything over 100.4 — but if you’re feeling chills, night sweats or that backache you often get with a fever I’d take note.

Feeling Like You Have to Pee All the Time – Even right after you’ve gone, you may feel like you have to go again. Sometimes you just want to pitch a tent on the toilet. This isn’t fun at all.

I know that pregnancy can make you feel this way, but it would be more than normal. Especially when accompanied by….

Burning When You Pee – When you pee and right after you may have a burning sensation in your bladder and urethra. For me, it was always worst right when I was done peeing.

You may also have some lower abdominal pain, some small contractions, sometimes back pain as well. But those 3 above are the worst ones.

There’s also the possibility of blood in your urine or it smelling off. All things to take note of.

FYI, if you’re later in pregnancy, usually the symptoms are even worse. And if that’s you — be sure to get a birth plan going too (as if you didn’t have ENOUGH on your plate so far, right?).

Bladder Infections in Pregnancy?

Bladder infections are different in pregnancy:

More Frequent

Due to changes in your “flora”, increased discharge, and increased blood flow to that area you’re more likely to have bladder infections.

It’s a real bummer because with pregnancy they also tend to be more painful and can also be….

Problematic

Bladder infections can start preterm labor. Your bladder is ornery, so your uterus wants to get in on it as well.

In fact, most often when people come in with preterm labor we always check their urine, to make sure a bladder infection isn’t the culprit.

Other Urinary Issues

Beyond a bladder infection, there are other things that can happen in that area:

Kidney Stones – As I mentioned above I had them during my last pregnancy. Again, due to increased blood flow, and changes how the kidneys filter urine you are more likely to have them during pregnancy. This is often really serious and painful back pain (but can have the other symptoms above as well).

Kidney Infections – Normally, these come with a fever and some pretty severe back pain, plus the other symptoms mentioned. This can be really serious and needs to be looked at ASAP.

What Should You Do?

If you think you have a bladder or kidney infection you should call your provider. Most often they’ll just have you give a urine sample at the office to check it.

If it’s after office hours, they will likely say to do it in the AM — which is usually fine unless you’re having:

• Severe Symptoms
• Contractions with it

If you feel like it’s too much, you can ask them if you can be seen as the hospital. Depending on how far along you are, they may see you in labor and delivery.

Labor and delivery sees a LOT of bladder infections. Sometimes people just come in thinking they’re in labor or just feeling “weird” — so it is a normal thing for us.

Treatment for Bladder Infections

Most often you need antibiotics for a true bladder infection. You can have bladder spasms or other issues that don’t involve bacteria you can treat in other ways — but a true infection needs antibiotics from a provider.

Most often they’ll test your urine, and may send it for a culture where they will test what antibiotics will kill whatever bacteria it is.

One sort of weird thing is that if you have a bladder infection the BEST thing you can do is drink a lot. Yes, you’ll have to pee more, but your bladder will be less ornery with you. This wasn’t intuitive for me (I wanted to pee LESS) — but when I drank more, I did feel better. This isn’t going to fix it though.

If the infection is super painful, ask your provider if there is anything you can take.

I also have a whole article on bladder infections on my sister site that goes into some other home treatments.

How to Prevent Bladder Infections in Pregnancy

If you’re reading this and would like to prevent them — that’s super smart!

Good Hygiene – Make sure you’re wiping well, keeping the area clean. Most providers recommend just water and your hand (no soap).

Stop Extras – If you’re using things like lotions, soaking in bubble baths, or something similar in that area — stop it. They can be very triggering for infections.

Good Undies – You may need to switch out the underwear you’re used to wearing to something more breathable. A nice 100% cotton pair (affiliate link) is smart.

Stay Hydrated – Dehydration can set-off a series of issues, so staying hydrated, while a foundation of pregnancy, is something you’re doing to stay UTI-free!

So, hopefully this post helped you out about bladder infections.

There’s LOTS to know during pregnancy — please do come join me in my prenatal class to get prepared for ALL of it. We actually touch on bladder infections in the first chapter that’s on your last trimester. So, it really does prepare you for all of it!

The post Bladder Infections in Pregnancy appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

Don’t miss my other first trimester tips right here.

Before we get started — you seem like the type who loves to be organized — grab my organized before delivery checklist right here to get started right away:

DO Take a Prenatal Vitamin

I am hopeful you’ve been taking a prenatal vitamin before you learned you were pregnant, but in case you haven’t I seriously want to you stop reading this article, and grab the nearest prenatal vitamin and take it.

While you’re mostly looking for folic acid in these first few weeks (studies and data show that it prevents neural tube defects), there’s lots of other good stuff in prenatal vitamins – so don’t JUST take the Folic Acid.

It is the recommendation that anyone who can become pregnant take a prenatal vitamin for you and your baby’s health. Often you don’t even know you’re pregnant during the weeks that are most vital to take them.

Do NOT Freak Out Over Prenatal Vitamin Options

There is SO much about prenatal vitamins out there. And frankly, I am also apalled by how little vitamins are in some actual “prenatal vitamins” but either way now isn’t the time to freak out about the BEST one. It CAN be really overwhelming. In fact, if you want to do that my friend at Feed your Zest has a prenatal vitamin guide that simplifies it.

Find one at a quality retailer, that has hopefully been 3rd party tested and take it.

If taking a prenatal vitamin makes you sick look at taking it another time of day, or at some of the gummy or water options out there. Prenatal vitamins are needed. Remember often that baby will just take what it needs from YOU, leaving you less healthy after birth.

DO Keep Eating the Rainbow

I think people immediately get very wary of food once they find out they’re pregnant. Even my friends who get serious morning sickness still feel pretty good until closer to 6-8 weeks. Eat the rainbow as long as you can.

If you find that you’re not able to keep specific things down try to eat what works, and if you’re not keeping anything down contact your provider. Some people also have luck with lollipops for nausea.

IV’s are fun at all, but sometimes you get into a loop of dehydration that it’s hard to get out of. Sometimes a bag of IV fluids can make you feel human again and start over. It’s worth talking to your provider about if you’re not keeping down fluids.

Not sure what to wear? Check out my post on early pregnancy clothes!

Do NOT eat a few specific things….

Now, the reality is that most of the world is FINE to eat when you’re pregnant, but there are a few specific things you want to avoid. The big ones that most people find annoying:

• Deli meat (unless cooked til’ steaming)
• Soft cheeses or unpasturized cheeses
• Sushi (along with other raw fish, and a few other types of fish high in mercury).
• Wine (no amount of alcohol is safe in pregnancy)

I actually have a whole safe eating guide you can grab right here that goes into more about why and what else to avoid:

DO get that prenatal appointment scheduled

Now is the time to get that first prenatal appointment scheduled. Most often it should happen before the end of your first trimester, but I am hearing some providers are so back-logged it’s not happening til’ later.

In that case, I’d take the available appointment, and keep calling around (be sure to cancel it if you find someone else).

Either way, get calling and figuring out who to see early in pregnancy. They’ll have some important lab work, some questions for you and will likely schedule an early ultrasound to check for baby’s size and dates.

BTW, if you don’t know your due date I have calculator right here that gives you both your due date and some other special dates to keep watching for.

Want to know more about picking a provider — check out these posts:

• 6 Things Your Provider Does at Prenatal Appointments that Are Important
• The Best Providers for Your Baby’s Arrival: A Deep Dive with CNM Juli Pyle
• Picking Your Pregnancy Healthcare Provider

Do NOT get tied to that provider…

FAR too often I see people picking a provider that can get them in, only to find out that provider really isn’t a good fit — but they stay with them because they think they have to.

Here’s a few truths:

• You can pretty easily switch providers during your pregnancy, especially up to about 30 weeks.
• There are lots of kinds of providers out there, they’re not all the same
• Check into a certified nurse midwife (CNM’s), they are often my favorites (and can easily manage a low-risk pregnancy, and have plans if you need more than that).

Want to know more about midwives:

• The Benefits of a Midwife
• Midwife Pro’s and Con’s

Note: There are a few different kinds of midwives out there. Certified nurse midwives (CNM) are nurses who went for more schooling and can now manage deliveries on their own, often in birth centers or hospitals. That is very different than a lay or a licensed midwife who delivers at home.

Don’t be afraid to keep looking around until you head into your third trimester. Hopefully, by then, you have found a good fit.

If you do switch be sure to ask for all your prenatal records, so you don’t need to repeat any testing.

DO Revel in the Miracle

Pregnancy is truly AMAZING. You do one thing and suddenly a human is growing inside of you.

It’s OK to be a bit starry-eyed about what’s going on and what the future will bring. I say enjoy those moments of peace, joy and happiness. It’s a wonderful thing.

Do NOT Spend Your Time in What If’s

I am also hear to say that the first trimester can bring a lot of “what if I lose this baby” thoughts.

The reality is that no thoughts like that will prevent it, in fact almost nothing you do can really keep that baby in any longer. So, it really is smartest to not torture yourself with it (even though I have plenty).

For me, I sort of revel in it briefly, and then ignore it as much as I can early on. I have plenty to get done and I just try not to think about all the what if’s as much as I can.

I am a HUGE what if’er, and I love control — so that first trimester is hard for me — even me — the Pregnancy Nurse!

DO Ask Your Provider About Aspirin Use

One thing that’s new to the pregnancy scene is the use of Aspirin if you have any risk factors for hypertension (high blood pressure) or preeclampsia.

You’re supposed to start this before your 13th week, if possible — at the VERY least by 20 weeks (you want it to be there as the placenta grows). So, if you provider isn’t seeing you til’ 13 weeks ask them if you can be screened over the phone for it.

If you are being seen prior to 13 weeks be SURE to ask about it at your visit.

If your provider doesn’t talk about it, it’s a red flag for me . It should be done at your first visit (or before). While they know some basic OB history about you, they don’t know your family history and there may be reasons to take it they haven’t covered.

Do NOT Get Sucked into Pregnancy Stories

It is really easy to start to listen to ALL the pregnancy stuff that comes up on social etc. — but a lot of these aren’t going to serve you. Some might even needlessly scare you. While I do think that birth and pregnancy stories can be very empowering, you need to be aware of how they are making you feel.

Also, be aware that true education comes from licensed providers and teachers who can help you know evidence rather than just a few experiences.

Bonus: DO find some people you can trust!

Finding people who you CAN trust can help you to:

• Think of great questions to ask your provider
• Know what to expect
• Know your options
• Know how to talk to your provider to get what you need from them.

I would hope that I can be one of those people you can trust. I’d love to follow you through your pregnancy together, come join me right here:

The post 5 Do’s and Don’ts of the First Trimester appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

From understanding fertility and early pregnancy health to exploring pregnancy tips that support your well-being, making informed choices about pregnancy food, and integrating pregnancy exercises into your routine, there is so much to consider as you prepare for your baby’s arrival. In this guide, we’ll cover some of our tip tips that you’ll need to ensure a healthy and happy pregnancy.

We’re going to go over each of those areas with some in-depth articles where you can learn more!

Fertility

Looking to get pregnant? You’re not alone. Remember the AVERAGE time to get pregnant is 9 months, so good things are worth the wait, right?

I have a few articles that can help:

• The Journey of Infertility: Struggle, Success, and Spearmint Tea
• Why Can’t I Get Pregnant Again?
• What Does it Mean When One Pregnancy Test is Positive and the Other is Negative?

My best tips are to:

Find a doctor you trust – this may take a few tries. You can learn a lot from the office and their staff, but often a visit is what you really need to see if you click.

Decide what you want to try – do you WANT to try fertility treatments, or do you want to just your body in a place where it may get pregnant naturally — I think this is an important point to have with your partner.

You’ve got time – I know it feels like you want it NOW but sometimes just relaxing and hoping things will happen in the right timeline helps you be less anxious (and anxiety isn’t helping anything). Sometimes I just tell myself “I’ve got all the time in the world” (even though, I know, it doesn’t feel like that).

Pregnancy Health

Health is so important to focus on during pregnancy. You want to allow your body to feel it’s best and also give baby all the things they need to grow properly.

We’re going to go over FOOD in the next section, but here’s a few articles you might find helpful:

• Pregnancy Calendar by Week: What to expect from prenatal care
• Is it OK to Sleep on Your Stomach When Pregnant?
• Marijuana Use During Pregnancy
• Routine Ultrasounds in Labor with Marybeth from SonoEyesUltrasound
• Questions to Ask Your OB on Your First Pregnancy Visit
• Self Care During Postpartum & Pregnancy
• Considering a VBAC: What to do
• To the Mom Who Thinks She’ll Go Early.

Here are my favorite tips for staying healthy during pregnancy:

Go to your prenatal check-ups: It can seem useless (honestly, that’s awesome if that’s the case). BUT it’s so important. Those check-ups are placed at vital times to watch baby and your health, they can often catch REALLY big things that can be a big problem!

Keep Working Out You’ll want to check with your provider to make sure it’s OK and what the best kind for you are (or what you should stay away from) but being active can help baby come easier by expanding those muscles in squats and other labor exercises, and studies show with less birth trauma. Crazy, right?

Pregnancy Food

Here’s some great articles on food in pregnancy:

• The Best Soups for Pregnancy: 21 Soup recipes for prenatal nutrition!
• When to start Eating Dates During Pregnancy?
• Can I Eat Hot Cheetos While Pregnant?
• What are the best drinks during pregnancy?
• Can You Eat Sour Cream While Pregnant?
• Can You Drink Wine When You’re Pregnant
• Why Does Eggplant Induce Labor?
• What Deli Meats Are Safe to Eat During Pregnancy?

While those posts cover much of my favorite pregnancy food tips — my favorite tip is to:

Balance Carbs and Proteins. Food is the key, and I always felt better when I balanced carbs and proteins. This is actually how they teach you to eat in the diabetic diet, but I think most pregnant women can feel better if they follow that advice as well.

I think food is SO important (and frankly, not my strong point) I have a bonus video in here with a dietician that I think you’ll love!

You may have heard that there are foods that induce labor… and while I haven’t found TOO much evidence about that (besides dates — and that’s for a few weeks of eating them) — I have some articles that might help:

• When Should I Start Drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea?
• Why Does Eggplant Induce Labor?
• Is Midwive’s Brew Safe?

Of course, there are some foods you should avoid — so grab my safe eating guide here:

Pregnancy Stage

There are several stages that are good to know about:

Pregnancy Timeline: Having an idea of what to expect both from your body and from your healthcare as you go through pregnancy is so important.

I actually have my posts all split up to exactly where you are:

• First Trimester (weeks 0-12)
• Second Trimester (weeks 13-27)
• Third Trimester (weeks 28-delivery)

Labor Stages: This can also extend to actual labor. Knowing how your body will progress through the stages of labor can be really helpful as well. I have a whole post on the labor stages that I think you’ll find helpful.

Remember everyone experiences labor on their own timeline. No need to compare with a friend, but knowing what you’re going to likely go through can help you know what to expect.

If you’re one of those people who really does like to know what to expect, can I recommend this? It’s for people just like you who want to be prepared!

Pregnancy Tips

There are a LOT of tips that can make pregnancy easier. While friends might share something that worked for them, I always recommend learning from an expert.

Here are some of my favorite tips & pregnancy hacks:

• Sleeping During Pregnancy: Tips by Trimester
• Top Tips for Your Plus-Size Pregnancy
• Tips To Saying No To Your Provider
• Birth Tips for First Time Moms!
• Tips for Young Mothers
• 3 Things to Do At the End of Your Pregnancy for a Faster Labor
• Signs of Labor (labor signs & symptoms)
• Early Labor Contractions

Here are a few quick tips that might help you right now:

Be CLEAR when you want an answer from your provider — do you want to know if it’s normal or get it fixed. Unfortunately, many providers just say something is “normal” and don’t ask if it’s affecting someone’s day-to-day living. When you’re clear about what you’d like done, they can be more clear with what they give you (I hope).

Physical Therapy Is your Friend — While they can be sometimes hard to get into, if the aches and pains of pregnancy are hurting you over all — ask your provider for a physical therapy consult. It can be a game-changer for pregnancy pain (if you find the right one).

Make a Birth Plan Together — Preparing for scenarios you may encounter in labor can be SO helpful. Honestly, just thinking about them puts you ahead of the game. Get my tips to doing it right here:

A lot of you may want the tip of WHEN will you go into labor (or HOW to go into labor)? Honestly, no one knows — so try to get prepared and remember the biggest myths of pregnancy is not helping you out.

Pregnancy Exercises

I’ve mentioned exercise above just to get it in early, but staying active during pregnancy has a whole load of benefits. I love Kaleigh Cohen — her workouts are free on Youtube and I just enjoy working out to her. She is a pregnancy-certified trainer (and has been pregnant in some of her workouts):

Here is her pregnancy playlist:

I actually work out with Kaleigh myself, as a woman approaching menopause I know how important bone growth (and muscle growth) are — and I just like her workouts, so I hope you like them too.

Before you work out:

• Be sure to ask your provider what’s best for you to be doing
• Get the rest, sometimes working out gives you more energy, and sometimes it takes it out of you (but it’s worth it, and you’ll gain stamina with time)
• Make sure you’re not using too heavy of weights — monitor it as you work out
• Be SURE to stretch afterwards (Kaleigh has some great stretches too). Prenatal stretches for my hips felt so good!

Preparing for Baby

Preparing for baby has two sides of it:

Preparing for the ACTUAL baby. You have a brand new human who’s going to live at your house.

This can feel overwhelming. My pregnancy planner has lots of checklists to make sure you’re not missing something.

I also have a newborn essentials checklist that can get you started:

I should say you also want to be prepared for YOUR body after birth — I have postpartum checklist for the supplies you’ll want to have on hand too

And, if you’re wanting to look for delivery nurse gifts for your labor nurse << I have a post on that too!

Preparing for Delivery – this is a whole other bag of chips, and childbirth education sometimes doesn’t feel as “cute or fun”.

I recommend The Online Prenatal Class for Couples — in just a few hours you can feel prepared for your hospital birth.

• In under 20 minute “birth bites” you won’t be overwhelmed (and can easily fit them into busy days)
• Created to be done with your partner so they’re prepped WITH you!
• Made by an expert so you don’t just have it “checked off” but you’re actually prepared!

I want that for you — come join me!

Want to do a vibe check before diving into the whole thing with me? — check out my free labor pro tips. It’s your first step toward getting in the driver’s seat of your birth.

So, what are YOU doing in preparing for baby to come? What phase are you in and what more do you want to know about? Tell us in the comments.

The post Planning for Bump to Bassinet: Must-Have Resources for Expecting Parents appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

We’ve got quite a few — and for most of them I have some good information, so let’s get started!

Pregnancy is definitely a two-edged sword. You may very much want to be pregnant, and have a baby but when you ARE pregnant you can realize it’s absolutely miserable. All of those feelings are valid and you can still love your baby and hate being pregnant. There is room for all those emotions here.

I also have a video on this topic:

Acid Reflux or Heartburn

I saw this one a LOT. Heartburn is very normal in pregnancy but doesn’t mean it’s fun.

I actually don’t have a post on this one (although I should).

The only bit of advice is that there are medications you can take beyond Tums — so talk with your provider to see what could work for you!

Sorry guys, talking about what meds you should take is beyond my paygrade.

Pelvic Pain

Ugh, I feel you on this one. I had it so bad (worse on each progressive pregnancy). I have a LOT about pelvic pain that might be able to help you out:

• Diastasis Symphysis Pubis During Pregnancy
• 5 Fixes for Groin Pain During Pregnancy
• 6 Easy Ways to Get Relief from Hip Pain During Pregnancy
• Pain Between Your Legs During Pregnancy
• 38 Weeks With Pelvic Pain & I Can’t Walk — HELP!

Cramps/Braxton Hicks

YES! Your uterus will start to contract now and then throughout your pregnancy. Some people call them “practice” contractions, but they sure don’t feel like a practice — they feel like the REAL THING!

I will say that some people think that ligament pain is contractions — but they’re different, so I’d read that article to see what you can do about the ligament pain.

But, beyond that the best thing to keep Braxton Hicks at bay is to make sure that you’re drinking enough water. I’d also recommend to make sure that you don’t have a bladder infection as that can often trigger Braxton Hicks.

I have a few articles you might find helpful on this one too:

• Contractions vs Braxton Hicks Quiz
• Signs of Labor
• True Labor Contractions: The signs of real labor
• When Will I Go Into Labor Quiz
• What does a contraction feel like?

Waiting for Pregnancy Test Results

I got nothing for you here. I wish you could by patience at Costco because I need it bulk packaging.

The main thing is that you’re not alone. I have so many people anxious about their pregnancy tests — and the only thing I can tell you is to wait a day or two.

Try to distract yourself. That’s my only thing. Have you watched Bridgerton? Or maybe Call the Midwife? That one’s my favorite.

Here are a few posts you might find helpful though:

• Early Pregnancy Symptoms You Might Be Missing
• The MOST accurate — am I pregnant quiz!
• Pregnancy Calendar by Week: Your calculator to your pregnancy progress

BTW if you’re early in pregnancy I think this pregnancy planner can be SO helpful (honestly, even if you’re later on too):

GDM (Gestational Diabetes)

Diabetes — both taking the test and actually having it are a real concern for a lot of people.

While I don’t have any information if you have diabetes. I will say that I did the diabetic diet for the majority of my last pregnancy and nothing tastes better than that chocolate cake once baby is out. Just do your best while baby is in…. hugs to you my friend, it’s hard to feel so miserable and have diet restrictions too.

BUT if it’s taking the test, I do have some tips for that:

• The Pregnancy Glucose Test for Gestational Diabetes
• You Failed Your 1-hour Glucose Test – What’s Next?
• Avoid Failing the Glucose Test During Pregnancy
• What to Eat Before Your Pregnancy Glucose Test
• Signs You Passed Your Glucose Screening Test During Pregnancy

Postpartum

Man oh man, this one is my mission to help change. There is SO much (especially in the US, where I live) that we could do better.

The biggest thing I can tell you (if you’re still pregnant) is to prepare for postpartum.

I do have a postpartum plan that is SO smart to get started on:

Personally, I took a prenatal class that just acted like it would be sunshine and rainbows after my baby was born. When it wasn’t, and I was in so much pain I just thought I was the only one.

I’m here to say that isn’t true, and there is a lot you can do to make it better.

When I created my own birth class I created two full chapters on life postpartum. One for getting what you need from the hospital (this is a KEY) and then also life after you go home. I’m very realistic about what to expect, and things you can do to make it better.

I love what Julia S had to say about the class:

“This class is wonderful! The information Hillary shared really helped us feel more prepared and validated our current understanding of childbirth and postpartum care. I especially loved the message of hope at the end and to enjoy your baby.”

I really do think preparation is key for postpartum life. I also think my post on postpartum self-care can be really helpful too!

Back Pain

YES! I hate how this one is mostly physics (although some early labor cramping can be back pain too).

As your belly grows, your back has to shift how it normally does things so you can stand up. Which results in strain in your lower back.

I totally recommend some yoga (because your thigh muscles also get into this and stretching your whole body will help a lot).

I have a few other articles that might help too:

• Period Pains and Backache On and Off at 36 Weeks of Pregnancy — Is it Labor?
• What Does Round Ligament Pain Feel Like
• Pain Under Your Bra Line During Pregnancy

Restless Leg

I had quite a few people mention this one on my survey.

I do have a post on using soap for it (seriously, the comments are crazy on that post because it makes NO sense to me).

If this is your issue I’d ask your provider what they think about adding some magnesium supplementation and see what they say. I’ve heard some people helped a LOT with that.

Anxiety

Girl, I feel you.

SO much anxiety about previous losses.

BTW, I’d 100% recommend this podcast episode with my friend Winter:

Anxiety around things like issues on ultrasounds (a few mentioned sub chorionic hematomas) — so many people just carry anxiety with them during their pregnancy.

I think that we always think: “If I can just get to XYZ I will feel better” — but then, somehow we don’t feel better (if you do feel better though, that’s awesome).

The reality is that parenting includes a lot of anxiety, at least it has for me.

Letting go of this myth has helped a lot.

I have also turned a lot towards positive affirmations, and trying to give my brain the signal that things could also work out VERY well.

Truth Bomb from Hilary: I just want to say that I am a naturally anxious person. I ended up with postpartum anxiety and didn’t have a clue what it was. I wish I’d gotten treatment for it. I had so much anxiety I never ended-up enjoying my newborns as much as I wish I had. I think drugs would’ve helped a lot.

However, I have gone to therapy, I work on gratitude and thinking positive. I have to work on it every day. I’m naturally a very glass half empty (frankly, it’s almost gone you guys) — and I think I will struggle with this until I die. But it’s something I’m currently thriving with.

Waiting for Baby to be Born

GAH, this is SO HARD! It’s only made worse by other friends having their baby before you — the nerve!

I have a few posts that might help with this:

• To the Mom Who Thinks She’ll Go Early.
• 40 weeks + a day and No Sign of Labor?

I will also say that on my last baby I went 12 days over my due date. I get this. It’s hard. I wish I’d had more frozen yogurt.

I will say while you’re waiting you can pack your hospital bag:

AND you can make your birth plan with me:

Morning Sickness/All-day Sickness

Oh man I saw this one SO much.

I have one VERY big thought on this:

There are things you can do to help. If your provider just says it’s “normal” but it’s affecting your day to day living say that.

They should be trying things.

At the very least if you’re not holding down fluids they should offer an IV to get you re-hydrated. I can’t tell you how much better you’ll feel hydrated.

That isn’t to say that they can solve this issue — but they should be trying things and taking it seriously.

It’s miserable, and the only good news is that it doesn’t last forever — it just seems like it will!

I do have a post on if lollipops help….

Not Feeling Movement

So much of this depends on how far along you are. Most people feel movement by 20 weeks (but you’ll hear of people feeling it much earlier). The reality is that only you know when you’re feeling baby move and it’s not very reassuring when you’re not feeling them move.

I have a few articles on this:

• Normal Daily Fetal Movement – Kick Counts
• Should You Buy Your Own Fetal Doppler?
• 30 weeks Pregnant and Baby’s Movements Have Slowed Down
• Increased Baby Movements Before Labor
• Feel Baby Move in Lower Abdomen: 20 Weeks Pregnant

If you’re further along, I’d 100% recommend kick counts too:

Sciatica

This is a nerve pain that goes down below your butt and can be MISERABLE.

Much if it follows the same things as the hip pain section — and a lot of people find some light heat helps. Talk with your provider to see if there’s anything they can recommend or if they think physical therapy can help.

Here are a few tips about heat:

• Can You Use a Microwave Heat Pack While Pregnant
• Using a Heating Pad While Pregnant: Can you use it on your stomach?

I think people are afraid of heat (and in some cases that is valid — but not when it’s your hips/butt that hurts). So be sure to figure out how to use it safely.

Delivery of the Baby

The deliver of the baby is often what people think is the worst. Which makes me sad.

Yes, it’s likely to be hard and a story you will tell for years to come (it sure should be — that baby deserves to know you walked to hell and back for them before you even met them!)

However, taking a birth class has proven to make birth better. The Online Prenatal Class for Couples is really the easy way to get prepared. I can’t recommend it any more.

• It can be done on your own timeline — 24/7 it’s available in short “birth bites” so you’re not overwhelmed.
• It is meant to be done with your partner to turn them into a teammate vs just a cheerleader.
• Learn how to make choices that suit you for pregnancy, labor, birth and beyond.

I don’t want you feeling “pushed” into things, or miserable about what’s going on — and I’ll teach you how to avoid all of that!

Fighting with Providers About Your Wishes

I saw this one a few times — and I see it ALL the time in my comments.

Let me state a fact right now:

Every. single. choice with your birth is up to you.

Ok, there are some rare cases to quickly preserve life we do some pretty amazing things, but in 99.9% of scenarios the choice is yours.

In The Online Prenatal Class for Couples I teach you how to take that power back. To get the information you need and be clear with everyone that you’re in charge. I think you’ll love it and you won’t have regrets as you look back. No one needs that!

Can’t Breathe

Did you know that your baby pushes up on your diaphragm making it so you literally don’t have as much lung space to get your breathe in.

To compensate your body expands your ribs a bit to let more air in. But seriously guys — it’s crazy town what we have to go through!

What I’m saying is that you aren’t fooling yourself when something that used to be easy now leaves you out of breath. It’s that baby.

HOWEVER if you’re out of breathe at rest — that isn’t something I’d keep quiet about. It’s a warning sign both during pregnancy & after birth that you need to be alert to.

I actually go over those signs in my Postpartum Care Made Easy Class (the written power point is free — but the video is included in The Online Prenatal Class for Couples as a bonus) — those warning signs are SO important an EASY to know and share with family.

ALL of it!

I heard this a couple of times, and it’s so valid.

Pregnancy can feel REALLY miserable.

It can feel unfair that you have to do all the things while your partner’s life is fairly unchanged.

It can feel like your doctors aren’t listening to you or helping — and it often takes effort to say that’s not OK and to try to get help.

It can feel like a losing battle as you hear people’s stories online.

I am here to say that you can take back that power.

• You can talk with your partner about what you’re feeling and wishes after birth so you’re shouldering it together (I have a whole workbook to talk about that)
• You can talk with your providers about what you need so they actually address your issues rather than brush you off.
• There really are SO many positive birth stories out there — staying positive can help a lot!
  • Having a Confident Delivery with Amber Breeding
  • Preparing for an Unexpected Cesarean with Katy
  • Getting Your Confident Birth with StormyFires
  • Creating Your Confident Birth with Alejandra

Come join me in The Online Prenatal Class for Couples where we really aim to make pregnancy, labor, birth and life postpartum so much easier so it’s not the worst anymore. You can actually enjoy it!

The post The WORST Parts of Pregnancy appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

Let me first say that your mental health matters.

It’s the #1 cause of death postpartum because we tend to think we’re “doing fine” until we REALLY are not and it can have really serious consequences.

BTW, if you’re just here for tips helping someone you love after baby — keep reading, they’re towards the bottom!

Please do take your mental health seriously, along with all your other bodily needs. Creating a plan in advance is the key — grab one to get you started here:

Sleep

It can feel “lazy” to sleep more as you get further in you pregnancy, but along with extra nutrients, your body requires more sleep to grow another human inside yourself.

Not to mention that you may not be getting consistent stretches of sleep due to positional pain, your bladder, or anxiety (I recommend this for that).

Postpartum Sleep

Sleep requirements will change after the baby is born. For the first month sleep will be on and off.

While many people say to sleep while the baby sleeps, that’s not always feasible — but it can be a goal.

After the first month, it should be a goal to get 4-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Studies have shown that this can decrease your chances of getting postpartum depression.

If you’re starting to feel “down” after baby is born — sleep should be one of the first things you consider.

A lot of people feel “tied” to the baby because of breastfeeding. During the first month it is important to feed on demand to manage your supply and help your body produce milk for the baby. However, once your supply is established, most people are going to be able to take that time off (although check with your lactation consultant for more info on that).

A few things that have worked for people:

• Picking sleep shifts. So, one partner sleeps during the early time — maybe 10pm-2am; and the other one sleeps from 2 am to 6 am or something. This may mean that baby has a bottle during this timeframe and mom pumps right after her “shift” is up.
• Outside help — maybe grandma, a friend, or even a postpartum doula comes to help get those hours of sleep for you.

Remember, sleep is important for BOTH parents.

I see a lot of people saying in their relationship they prioritized their husband getting sleep and they were just the sleepless one. I guess if that works for you, it works — but that does NOT work for most people. People NEED sleep.

I see a lot of people who KNOW that sleep is the issue, but have no idea how to accomplish it. I would encourage you to reach out to your partner, family, and those who love you to brainstorm ideas to help you get some REST. YOU DESERVE IT.

While we’re here, grab my postpartum checklist right here:

Movement

Some type of movement is an important part of self care.

Now, there’s lots of moments that can be problematic (looking at you jumping jacks) but you’re looking for movement that feels good.

• A short walk (sunshine and fresh air is a huge bonus)
• Some stretching
• Other pregnancy or postpartum movements

BTW, looking for some great pregnancy workouts — I love Kaleigh Cohen’s (she’s filming them pregnant and you can tell she struggles, which I appreciate):

Postpartum Movement

I thought extra movement would help my postpartum depression, but I ended-up making my very sore bottom worse.

If you had a C-section, this movement will be getting up and taking care of yourself, and maybe walking out to get the mail.

If you had a vaginal birth I want to remind you that everyone’s healing process is different, so don’t over-do things, and START SMALL.

Too much movement can increase your bleeding postpartum, and I talk all about that in here (so grab it right now).

Eat

Food is important. It’s really easy to fill your needs with ding-dongs and ho-ho’s (especially postpartum) but eating a balanced diet has never been more important.

One easy thing to do is to make sure that each meal has protein in it.

A few favorite snacks:

• Apple & peanut butter
• A handful of nuts
• Cheese & crackers
• Trailmix

I think this is so important I actually have a bonus video on nutrition in here. SO many people ignore it, and that isn’t doing you any favors.

Remember, that baby will take from you what it needs, so you need to fuel yourself so that you’re not at a deficit.

Postpartum Eating as Self-Care

I know everyone says to sleep when baby sleeps, but I recently heard that new moms need to eat when babies sleep. I thought that was smart. Grab some fruit, a granola bar or a sandwich when baby eats. A lot of people just put easily-reachable snacks in a basket near where they feed.

Make sure you’re also drinking water. So important for your healing & milk supply if you are breastfeeding.

Time-Off

Ok, pregnant friends, you can’t get time off from being pregnant, sadly — but this is more for my postpartum friends.

You need some time “off” of baby duty (and you’re not asleep).

The baby can encompass your entire life if you let it, and performing a job 24/7 for days on end can lead to burn-out.

I mean, imagine if you had a friend who told you they took a new job that they planned to work at 24/7 for the next month. You’d think they’re insane, right? YOU need time-off too.

Talk to the people that you love about how they can help you have this.

Breastfeeding can feel like you’ve accepted that 24/7 job — and it is very tricky that first month. But, after that you can figure out some time off by leaving a bottle (of formula or breastmilk) — and taking care of YOU. YOU MATTER TOO!

What can you do for someone else to support them?

There are lots of ways that we can support new mothers. Often we think it needs to just be meals or holding the baby for them, but we need to support ALL the family — here’s some good ideas I have heard:

Emotional Support

This is things like caring for them, giving them encouragement. I think that checking in with a text is a great way to do this. They can respond when they’re able and allows them to know that they matter. Can I stress that more?

Helping new parents know they haven’t left your mind, your heart or even society can be nice. You often feel so isolated — let’s all check on each other more!

Companionship

Hanging out with a new mom — whether you’re folding laundry with them, holding the baby for them, or cleaning up the house — being there for them can be so important.

It’s also important to respect whatever boundaries they have. Maybe they don’t want “strangers” holding the baby or something along those lines — be comfortable to help how you can and let them hold their own boundaries.

Informational Support

Can you help them with a problem they’re having? Giving guidance, suggestions, information on resources can be very helpful. Even a mom speaking from experience is so valuable.

It’s important in this area to also respect to give advice for a problem they want advice on — not what you want to give advice on.

Sometimes the whole world wants to tell a new mom how to do something, and I’ll be the first to say that we all find our way with our babies (honestly, each one — they’re all different). We need to respect that, and only offer information they’re seeking.

Tangible support

This is often what we think of:

• Provide meals (freezer meals are also great that they can pull out when they need them)
• Watch other kids
• Run errands for them (making returns for them is SO handy)
• Doing laundry (either at their house, or just do a pick-up service)
• Help with cleaning/picking stuff up

These are so valuable too. Often we just think of meals — but there’s a lot we can physically do for new parents to help ease their burdens.

This is the part where I remind you again that YOU matter.

Your world tends to get wrapped-up in that new baby, but that actually doesn’t do the baby and favors. It needs a fully-functioning mom in order to thrive in their new life. Give them that. You both deserve it.

Sources:

Lewis BA, Gjerdingen D, Schuver K, Avery M, Marcus BH. The effect of sleep pattern changes on postpartum depressive symptoms. BMC Womens Health. 2018 Jan 9;18(1):12. doi: 10.1186/s12905-017-0496-6. PMID: 29316912; PMCID: PMC5761144.

The post Self Care During Postpartum & Pregnancy appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.