You’re pregnant, and wondering when to announce to the people around you that’s happening. When is the BEST time to tell people, and what to think about when you do.
I want to first-off say that this is SO very personal. It’s not our job to tell anyone when they should or should NOT announce. I am just going to tell you about a few things you think about as you hold that information in for a while, or share it with the people close to you.
BUT, either way, let me hang out with you for the rest of your pregnancy. These emails can be tailored to right where you’re at!
Pro’s of Announcing Early
Honestly, one of the FUNNEST parts of early pregnancy is sharing that news with other people. It’s REALLY fun to see their excitement for you and your family.
Plus, if you’re not feeling well, you have a gang of people who understand and may be willing to help you out!
They’re there to support you no matter what happens, which is always nice.
Con’s of Announcing Early
Some people may have advice about you announcing so early. Unsolicited advice is always annoying, but possibly extra annoying in this context.
Some people get antsy and keep asking you when you’re going to have that baby. Their impatience is definitely not going to help out your own…
The big con most people find is that if you were to experience a loss (much more likely in your first trimester) you might have to tell those people instead of keeping it to yourselves.
You’re just going to have to evaluate how you feel about that. Some people love the support of loving friends, and some would prefer to keep it private.
Every person is different, and that’s OK — that’s why I don’t think there is a hard and fast rule that works for everyone.
Another con to telling early is that it stops the magic between you and your partner. There’s something bonding about having a secret for just you two. I think it’s fun to keep it that way for a little bit, but it can be HARD to not tell anyone else!
I will say sometimes people start to suspect things by the way you’re changing your eating/drinking habits. Either way, it’s so important to do that:
A note on timing:
Pregnancy has a few moments that tend to be better to tell than others. The main one is after you see/hear a heartbeat.
It is possible to have a “hormonal pregnancy” in which your body thinks it’s pregnant, and may even create a yolk sac — but there isn’t a baby inside.
Most providers try to get you in for an early ultrasound. So, when you call to make your appointment ask when they will likely do that ultrasound, just so you know.
Want more info on ultrasounds << check out this podcast episode:
So, what’s best? When should I announce?
Again, this is 100% up to you.
As a nurse, I told my co-workers very early on. Nurses sometimes have circumstances they should not be in if they are pregnant (aka, x-ray). There can also be drugs and other things they shouldn’t do, so it’s nice for everyone to know. As labor nurses we are very protective of our own, and we also don’t have pregnant nurses in rooms with stillbirths, etc for a variety of reasons.
If your pregnancy is going to effect how you carry-out your job I would recommend telling a few trusted coworkers early on. Maybe get their take on it. The US does have protected rights for pregnant workers >> here is a good article on it.
We told my parents and my husband’s parents early on. They were part of the group of people we wanted supporting us if something were to go wrong.
Honestly, beyond that I didn’t tell many people.
I’m the type that does NOT like to discuss my thoughts or feelings with lots of people. I am one to process it on my own. Since I’m a health provider I tend to look at things analytically and that stuff just doesn’t always line-up right.
But, if you’d love the support of people if you were to have a loss, then I say tell! Again, it’s SO fun. One of my favorite parts of pregnancy.
Of course, my fantasy was to just show up somewhere suddenly 30 weeks and in maternity clothes, but that never happened. We struggled with fertility with our last baby for about 4 years and I had opened up that was our issue, so we’d been asked a few times how things were going and what our plans were and I felt weird about lying about something we’d hoped and prayed for.
It’s tricky, and I think we as the general public need to realize that, and pregnant people also need to understand it’s tricky.
There is NO right answer for everyone on this. Pregnancy, in general, is a very personal thing.
Some people are SO happy, and some people aren’t — and it takes some time to wrap your head around the changes.
Honestly, we had fertility issues and hoped and prayed for that baby, but once you see the two pink lines things change and all the sudden you think “am I ready for this”.
Parenting is a huge responsibility. One that brings enormous amounts of joy and satisfaction, but it changes absolutely every facet of your lives. So, give yourself some grace on how YOU want to do it.
Either way, now you should be sure to check out my 10 things to do when you find out you’re pregnant. It’s such a good one, you’ll find it so helpful!
And be sure to let me hang out with you for the rest of this pregnancy, I’m a great buddy to have:
- About the Author
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A nurse since 1997, she has worked in various fields including pediatrics, geriatrics & hospice. She has 20 years of labor and delivery experience in the San Jose, CA and Phoenix, AZ areas.
As an evidence-based prenatal educator Hilary has delivered thousands of babies and has educated hundreds of thousands of parents from a diverse patient population to help them have a confident birth.
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