So, you just found out you’re pregnant (or you’re hoping to soon) — what are some things you should be doing? I’m going to walk you through a few of the important ones, so you can make sure to get this pregnancy off to a great start.
#1: Join my Newsletter — Ok, maybe not the first think you should do, but while you’re here, come join me, The Pregnancy Nurse, for the rest of your pregnancy. I’ll share my best tips based on right where you’re at in your pregnancy. Totally free, just me as a buddy to keep you company. Join right here:
Figure Out Prenatals
I’m hopeful you’ve been doing this all along, but it is NEVER too late to start.
You need to figure out prenatal vitamins — what kind to take and what works for you. If you can’t keep down a pill, you can try gummies, or water. There’s a LOT of good options, but I’ve been SHOCKED by how poor the vitamins out there are.
I’m a huge fan of Feed Your Zest’s prenatal vitamin guide. Honestly, I don’t know all the nutrients we need but she does (she’s a registered dietician). I actually have had her on my podcast, and she teaches the nutrition section in here.
Do a Vibe Check
Ok, vitamins are in check — but now how are YOU doing?
Pregnancy brings about a lot of changes and I have a lot of friends who feel REALLY guilty for sort of not feeling all that awesome about being pregnant.
Let me, as someone who’s seen thousands (and millions online) of pregnant women tell you that whatever you’re feeling is OK. The beauty of pregnancy is that you have 9 months to become OK with what’s going on, and a lot of people need those nine months.
Maybe you’re elated, you’ve been hoping for this forever!
Maybe you’re overwhelmed, even if you wanted it suddenly this is a LOT.
Maybe you’re not a fan. Maybe you have another child who’s still little, or it’s just unexpected — and all of that is AOK.
I’ve seen moms, and even close friends have ALL of these emotions. Don’t feel shame or guilt for whatever you’re feeling. Just as with any big life change there are lots of emotions about it!
If you have a lot of big feelings that you’re having a hard time with I can’t recommend therapy anymore. I went to therapy recently and it really helped me realize that my emotions aren’t ME, I can process them and move on and it helped me a lot!
How Many Weeks are You?
Ok, how many weeks are you? Pregnancy is complicated, as it “begins” with your last menstrual period (which, yes — means you’ve been “beginning” a pregnancy every month since you were 14 — which is really weird).
And then, they estimate your due date, 40 weeks from the day of your last menstrual period.
I actually have a pregnancy calculator right here that also shares some important dates to be aware of (ultrasounds, other testing). It’s super handy.
Also, if you’d like to keep track of this pregnancy, now is a fun time to grab this pregnancy planner. Don’t let that cheap price send you away from it — it’s SO handy and people love it!
Figure-Out a Provider
Ok, who’s going to help you with this pregnancy. Personally, I’m a fan of in-hospital birth and that is where all of my expertise lies.
There are a few types of providers who are able to deliver in the hospitals:
OB/GYN’s — these are doctors who specialize in pregnancy. In general I like to keep them for higher-risk stuff, but I’ve actually seen them for all of my pregnancies because that’s what I had available to me. They have TONS of experience, and are great at catching and helping if things are going wrong.
Family Medicine — These doctors are trained from birth until death, and some of them deliver babies (although less and less). This is an amazing option because your whole family can go see them for whatever, and your baby can also go see them after they’re born. These docs are great for lower-risk pregnancies, anything that increases your risks they will probably refer you to an OB-GYN.
Midwives – Guys, these are my favorite, but I have to say it’s CONFUSING because in the US we use the word midwives for so many things. I am talking about Certified Nurse Midwives. These midwives deliver in hospitals (some deliver in birthing centers as well), they are VERY well trained in pregnancy, birth and women’s health (some can also see baby in the first few months too). Again, they are meant for low-risk patients and will refer you to an OBGYN if your risk increases.
Who would Hilary choose?
I love-love-love larger practices that have both OB-GYN’s and midwives practicing together. The midwives (again, Certified NURSE midwives) see most of the patients, and then if they have higher risk complications they may consult with an OB, or may refer their care to the OB.
I honestly just think it’s the best model of care.
Confused about who can deliver your baby? I have a whole podcast with one of my favorite CNM’s right here:
That being said — most of your provider options will be limited by your insurance (if you’re in the US).
So, look at your options however you can. See if any midwives are available and then start calling around. See when you can get appointments.
I will say it’s pretty easy to change providers if you’re not loving them after that first appointment, but being seen early on can help ease a lot of anxiety and fears and also give you a touch point for any issues.
Learn about Aspirin in Pregnancy
This one is a new one for me, but they are recommending that people start low-dose aspirin at 12 weeks if they have any risks for preeclampsia.
If your prenatal appointment is before 12 weeks this is 100% something you should ask your provider about at that appointment (because taking aspirin isn’t for everyone, you do want to do it with your provider’s guidance).
If you can’t get an appointment before 12 weeks ask the provider about it over the phone. They should have some guidelines about it (and if they don’t, that may be a red flag).
Learn more about aspirin in pregnancy here.
I also did a podcast on it:
Positive Affirmations
Ok, like we said before — pregnancy can be a LOT. I’m a HUGE fan of some positive affirmations. Having hope that things will turn out fine is something that I rely a LOT on as a parent — so I’d get started now, if I was you. Grab some here:
EAT!
Eating can feel troublesome in early pregnancy. You may be nauseated (or sort of worried if you’re not). You may feel fine but just not sure WHAT to eat.
I would just encourage you to eat as well as you can for as long as you can. Often people don’t get nausea, so don’t just expect it. There are also a few things you should avoid. I have a safe eating guide here that you can sign up for:
Journal
Now’s the time to write down those thoughts and feelings, plus dreams for this little one.
Personally, I have years of journals that I look back on and treasure (with a fair amount of eye rolling too — but that’s sort of fun to see how I’ve progressed in life).
Another great option is that pregnancy planner. It has loads of fun journaling prompts as you progress through your pregnancy. You could print it or do it digital, and there’s a couple of styles depending on what you like:
Talk With Your Partner!
Hopefully you’ve done this by now — at least told them you’re pregnant. But, now’s the time to hope an dream together. Now’s the time to really open those communication lines so that you can both be a support to each other.
Pregnancy can add stress to a relationship, so making sure that you’re taking the time to communicate with each other is SO important. Maybe seeking out some counseling to help you do it better can help too. I know it helped my husband and I.
I’m a huge fan of getting that partner involved. My prenatal class involves them implicitly. I never think it’s too early to join, and I have tons of couples questions you may not think about that get ideas going as to how you’re going to make it through pregnancy & birth and then how you’re going to raise this new little one!
What I didn’t say….
You’ll notice I didn’t say announcement.
There’s a LOT of thoughts online about when you tell, but I really think you’ll just know when you’re ready.
For me, I knew that the chance of miscarriage was high up until about 12 weeks, so I tended to keep it to myself and close friends who I knew would support me if something happened until then.
I did tell my work very early on as working as a nurse can have some issues during pregnancy (x-rays, etc). Just do what you feel comfortable with.
I always had a dream of just one day showing-up with a baby, but I’m HORRIBLE at keeping secrets, and I always wanted to share my joy with those around me. 🙂
You do you, and ignore what people are saying online. That’s my best advice there (and honestly, for a LOT of pregnancy).
And, in case I’m one of the first you’re exploring this with — CONGRATULATIONS!!!! What an exciting time! So many good things are in store and I wish you every good thing as you progress on this journey!
And, in case you didn’t above — come join me on your pregnancy journey where I can highlight what’s important right NOW in your pregnancy:
- About the Author
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A nurse since 1997, she has worked in various fields including pediatrics, geriatrics & hospice. She has 20 years of labor and delivery experience in the San Jose, CA and Phoenix, AZ areas.
As an evidence-based prenatal educator Hilary has delivered thousands of babies and has educated hundreds of thousands of parents from a diverse patient population to help them have a confident birth.
40 weeks + a day and No Sign of Labor?
