40 weeks + a day and No Sign of Labor?

They give you a due date meaning baby will be OUT around then, right? But what if you hit that due date and there is NO SIGN of labor happening… what do you do THEN? Today I have a 3 tips on what to do if this is you, and you’re READY to be done! PLUS, one thing NOT to do (that I did and was a big problem). I think it will be helpful!

Before we dive in, have you thought about your birth plan? Let me help you get it ready:

I want to say that ALL of my babies (3) went over their due date with no signs of labor in sight, so I GET it and I hear how miserable you are. I have some good tips, so keep reading!

I did also want to add that just because someone is dilated, doesn’t mean they’re going into labor any sooner than you. Closed-thick-high cervixes can change very fast, and cervixes open 3-4 cm can stay that way for weeks. It’s really not an indicator that labor is coming…. so, don’t let that bother you!

Want to know more about dilation — check out these posts:

• How To Dilate Faster
• I’m 2 Cm Dilated? How Much Longer?
• Signs You Are Dilating: Symptoms Of Cervical Dilation
• How Dilated Are You When You Lose Your Mucus Plug?
• How Long Can You Stay 1 Cm Dilated?

Ok, now onto the tips!

Forget-about-it (forgedaboudit)

Ok, this one is SO much easier said than done, but the first thing I want you to do is to distract yourself from the fact that you really thought you’d be done by now! When you get busy doing other things, often the thing you’re HOPING will happen makes room to happen.

I have no idea why, but it does.

Here’s a few of my favorite things to recommend to people in those annoying overdue days:

• Review your birth class (or take one — this one can still be done, it’s not too late!)
• Cook — great time to make some freezer meals!
• Go on a walk somewhere beautiful
• Clean (I get it, I’m the worst — but I know this is productive just be sure to use safe cleaning products)
• Watch a favorite movie with someone you love
• Do some prenatal yoga to stretch out those tired muscles.

The LAST thing you want to do is to just sit there and wallow (although I have done that plenty of times, I just sat and cried the entire day before my induction last time). I wish I hadn’t — it was a waste of a lot of time and energy I could’ve devoted some some frozen yogurt with my feet up.

Thinking you have some control is one of the biggest myths of labor & pregnancy.

Fun fact, sitting in your misery actually may counteract any labor hormones your body is producing. Oxytocin is a LOVE hormone, it feels good — and you sitting around feeling BAD doesn’t give it room to do it’s thing!

Another great thing to do? Pack that hospital bag:

Induction?

Ok, the Arrive trial showed that it was safe to be induced at 39 weeks. You didn’t have a higher chance of a c-section than you would if you waited (that’s really boiling it down — I have a whole deep dive into it in the bundle in here).. Now, it did also show that the induction would likely be longer than “natural” labor…. but it did show it was a viable option.

So, to you I ask, do you want to be induced? If so, ask your provider? If they are an in-hospital provider and they refuse ask them why. Some hospitals do have a policy that they don’t electively induce people prior to 41 weeks because of how busy they are (and inductions take extra nurses and room time). BUT it is a viable question to ask from 39 weeks on.

BUT, if you are considering an induction be SURE to get all these questions answered so you have a realistic idea of what to expect:

FAR too many people are caught off-guard by:

• How painful an induction is
• How you’re more “stuck in bed” because monitoring isn’t optional (stop monitoring, we have to stop the induction)
• How long it lasts — it often can be over a day of contractions before things really get going
• How you’re much more likely to want an epidural and the requirements that come with that

Honestly, there’s a lot about labor that catches people off-guard, which is why I recommend EVERYONE take a prenatal class. The Online Prenatal Class for Couples is truly meant to be done in just a few hours… you can still get it done and feel SO much more excited for your birth (and not just because you’ll be done being pregnant).

Keep Moving

It is REALLY tempting to curl up in a ball and feel your misery. I get it, you’re tired, you feel like it’s not fair that you’re still pregnant when you feel like EVERYONE else has gone earlier and already had their baby.

But, that is your WORST plan!

Letting your baby find their best spot in your pelvis often requires moving in new and different ways.

Things like:

• Curb walking
• Rotating on a yoga ball…. (awesome to do while you watch/review your birth class)
• Small lunges (don’t go crazy, they can make your pelvis mad)
• Dancing (probably one of my favorite ways — awesome to involve the whole family)

And, like I mentioned above, cooking (shifting your hips while you’re at the counter), cleaning (being on all 4’s is an awesome movement)…. those can help too!

What NOT to do:

The thing to NOT do is to pretend that you have control over this….

• It’s not your fault that you aren’t in labor yet – this isn’t a mindset game, you can’t MANIFEST this — it is your brain, your baby and your body deciding they’re ready. You don’t have control over those!
• There aren’t magical ways to go into labor that you don’t know about — studies show most of them don’t work at all.

I felt some sort of guilt/shame by the fact that I wasn’t in labor yet when I was overdue (not helped by my mom wondering WHEN I was going to have that baby????). THAT was just plain wrong, and unhelpful.

I was waiting on mother nature, so I wish I had just made the best of it and laid around more with a fan on me. 🙂

Wondering if I’m wrong and if some things WILL put you into labor — check out these posts with studies:

• When Should I Start Drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea?
• Can Curb Walking Induce Labor?
• What Is Stripping Membranes? (Membrane Sweep)
• When To Start Eating Dates During Pregnancy?
• Can A Hot Bath Induce Labor At 39 Weeks?

Check out more about putting yourself into labor here.

I think one of the things I’ve learned in all my years on the planet is that we often can’t hurry up something. We have to just live as well as we can until it happens.

Was I good at that? No? But, I wish I had taken that advice to heart more instead of sitting around crying and wallowing. That didn’t do me any favors.

And yes, ultimately I did get induced. I’d been 5 cm for over a week when I was induced, and if I’d let them break my water once I was contracting I bet I would’ve only had like a 3- hour induction, but what a surprise — I wanted to control things.

So, if you’re that kind of person — I see you, and I know how that feels.

I will ALSO say that after going those extra days, my kids tended to be better sleepers than my friend’s kids. They were older, and often ate better. Sometimes I took that as my consolation prize for staying pregnant so long. So, hopefully that happens for you too. 🙂

Finally, I just way to say hang in there friend.

The unknown is hard.

The pain of the last days of pregnancy is hard.

People asking when you’re going to have that baby is hard.

It sort of isn’t fair that some people “get out of pregnancy early”…. but I know you want a healthy baby and sometimes this is what that entails…. misery.

Personally, I think you’re doing a great job. 🙂 Just keep up the good work. And by good work — I mean propping those feet up with a beverage watching a show you love. You deserve at least that. 🙂

Note for moms on baby 2+: My kids were really paranoid by the fact for WEEKS they wondered if they would wake-up and I’d be at the hospital. That part weighed on me so hard too. It may have been the hardest to say every night at bedtime that I didn’t know WHEN the baby would come (insert guilt and shame for not being able to get her out earlier). So, if that’s you — I also see you, and it’s hard.

And, of course — I have to say come join me in my class. Couples really do actually ENJOY it. Come read the reviews here. They make me so proud to have prepared thousands of couples for great births. I’d love to do that for you too!

Want to do a vibe check before diving into the whole thing with me, or just want more tips? — check out my free labor pro tips. It’s your first step toward getting in the driver’s seat of your birth.