5 Mistakes Families Make Preparing for Delivery

There is a lot to keep in your head as you head into your delivery, but lots of families make pretty drastic mistakes in their preparation for their new baby. Let’s talk about these mistakes and ways to avoid them.

Let’s remember, in the 20 years I have done labor and delivery, I have helped thousands of moms have their baby and seen LOTS of mistakes families made before that big day. I really am here to help you get prepared for your birth.

So, let’s get going!

Mistakes Families Make Before Delivery

#1 Watching Social Media for Info

Says the person on all the social media platforms… {podcast, tiktok, youtube, Instagram}

Because I’m on social media so much, I spend a LOT of my time shaking my head, wondering how people feel confident sharing information that just isn’t true.

Remember someone who’s given birth once or even a number of times, is not a birth expert. It’s just a story, like mythical lore.

Keep in mind that Doulas don’t have to be certified (and, even if they are, there is no guarantee in the substance of that certification) — literally ANYONE can say that they’re a doula. Midwives can be both lay midwives (who only have to have had a few handfuls of deliveries) or certified nurse midwives who have buckets of training and experience. Most often Certified Nurse Midwives will have the initials CNM in their bio.

And then there’s NURSES who give labor advice who aren’t labor nurses, just had their own baby. Again, more mythical lore.

I just throw my hands in the air and walk away.

Lies I’ve seen on social media:

• Pitocin is dangerous in all forms
• You should avoid a cesarean section at ALL costs
• NO one needs an episiotomy, they’re always just the doctor being lazy.
• No one needs an IV, it’s a lie the hospital promotes to make money. (?)

and the list goes on….

Oh, come join me in my pregnancy series so I can clear-up a lot of those myths for you:

Some tips on who to follow online:

Look for actual initials — including MD, or DO — and it should say board-certified in obestetrics. Many will say they’re a DOCTOR but sometimes they’re a dentist, or a chiropractor…. not the same (obviously).

Look for the nurses (should say RN). Obviously, I’m biased, but I have yet to follow a labor nurse who’s advice I REALLY questioned. Sure, some people exaggerate it to get clicks — but most often they understand what would help families. Again, make sure they’re a LABOR nurse — with a good bit of experience. I’ve seen a few brand new labor nurses with a little info that aren’t the best.

If you’re following a Doula, look for one who doesn’t make broad strokes of the the truth — words like “everyone” or “not necessary” aren’t OK. Also, keep in mind that doulas are there for support, they are NOT there for medical advice. Coping techniques, ways to help you progress in labor — that’s their thing. Telling you medical plans for your labor is NOT their lane.

And SO many are WAY out of their lane….

I should also say that no MATTER how “qualified” someone is — if their information doesn’t make you feel great about you or your birth move on. Feel free to block. Social media is YOUR time to do what feels good for YOU, so make sure you take that job seriously.

#2 Thinking Their Doctor Says What they Will Do

SO many people message me and say “my doctor says I have to have an IV” and I’m like…. how’s he going to force that into you?

Your doctor can’t release you from their care by not following an order like that in the hospital. Just FYI. You can refuse ANYTHING in the hospital (and they are legally obligated to continue to care for you).

If, in the office, they make you feel like that’s a requirement — I’d say something like, “Ok, that’s good advice. I will keep that in mind, but since I plan to go natural I still may consider not having an IV, and I just want you to know.”

Your doctor is there to give you advice.

Like…. a flooring guy. They come in and they tell you the risks and the benefits of tile vs hardwood, vs vinyl. And then you say — well, I have dogs and crazy kids and they might say that tile is a good option because it’s so sturdy, but in the end it’s up to you what you pick.

IT IS THE EXACT SAME. And don’t let them bully you into other things. They’re just their to give you informed consent. I’m sad to say I’ve seen a lot of doctors not give informed consent (instead they did a lot of telling you what to do)… so it is something to keep an eye out for.

That being said, you’re paying them a LOT of money for their experience and expertise. Make sure you’re using it. I personally think it’s smart to have an IV during labor due to the risks of that and the benefits, but that’s a choice I would make for me.

#3 Not Taking a Prenatal Class

I know, you’re busy. There is a LOT to get done before baby, and you don’t feel at your best. I totally get that, but by taking a class you just give yourself a huge leg up.

This is why I recommend a class that can be effectively done in just a few hours. I recommend this one. It’s meant to be done WITH your partner, and also affords you to deep dive in other areas that interest you, but in three hours you’re set with the basics.

It’s also the best, quality course out there for the price.

I always tell people it’s like riding a roller coaster in the dark if you don’t have a class. Yes, labor is ALWAYS going to be a roller coaster — but with a class, you’re in the light. You know where the ups and downs will be and what to expect.

A good prenatal class is not JUST about breathing (but it should have that too). It should go over common interventions (including induction and c-section). It should also prepare you to talk with your providers to get the information you need to make YOUR choice. And since this one covers all of that, that’s why I recommend it.I also recommend getting a breastfeeding class if you’re planning/hoping to breastfeed. Fun fact, that class can also include breastfeeding if you’d like

#4 Only the Birther Is Prepared for Delivery

I know, a lot of partners want to zone out for the prep part — but don’t let them! The hospital is just as foreign for them (if not more so). Make sure your partner is prepared with you for this new phase of your life.

This doesn’t mean that they need to be as interested as you are. That’s why I have lots of extra info for you (in case you want to research a a topic more) — but you two can learn the basics easily together in here!

Make sure you’re having discussions about what you’re going to do and what things are going to be like after baby. This class sparks that with couples questions that really dives into the early weeks with baby and how you’re going to handle those together.

#5 Ignoring The Ugly

So many people just skim over the areas they don’t want to think about — and instead focus on the cute baby clothes and shoes (UGH, the shoes — I get it!). I mean, I don’t blame you.

Spending hours shopping for that cute stroller (but not sure how to set it up), but ignoring how to install the car seat or addressing your fears about the birthing process is NOT doing you any favors.

I believe every mom needs a small amount of cesarean section information. It is a REAL possibility, and you’ll feel much less scared if you realize how safe it is and how it will happen. People love the chapter on them in here, it’s quick and to the point and SO helpful if it becomes necessary.

So often we want to focus on the pretty things. It’s our nature. But looking at the ugly, and smoothing it out can be a HUGE help for you.

Oh, and while you’re here grab my packing list (because packing isn’t always fun either):

BONUS: Coping Skills

So often I see moms come in with literally ZERO coping skills, and a partner who is of no help to them. They can’t handle the pain or the stress of the delivery. They’re basically just FREAKING. OUT.

Normally, if this happened on another unit, they would give that person drugs to help them calm down. But in labor there isn’t that option as much (because pain meds don’t always fix it).

Learn how to look at the ugly, help create a relationship that gives you hope and trust in your partner. Get prepared and learn some BASIC pain coping techniques (which I have a bonus video on in that course). It will pay off HUGE in the long run!

NOW is the time to jump into an Online Class. Please consider joining me in The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. In just a few hours I can have you prepped for YOUR confident delivery. If you’re ready to get started now, use coupon code PREPARED to save 10% right now!