The 5 Worst Pieces of Pregnancy Advice I Have Heard

Looking for some real pregnancy advice from someone who KNOWS what they’re talking about? Today I’m going to share some of the WORST advice I’ve heard. A lot of it comes from a nice place, but when you apply it overall it can be really harmful, so I’m going to share when it works and when it does NOT work.

But who am I to be giving pregnancy advice? Hi, I’m Hilary — The Pregnancy Nurse®. I’ve been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of labor and delivery experience. As an full time prenatal educator online now I see a LOT of pregnancy advice and I know how quickly it can trip you up.

Make sure they stick to your birth plan.

I see some people saying how QUICK the hospital is to deviate from someone’s birth plan, but I want to give you a few facts:

I love birth plans — I love that you’ve thought about what you’d like to have happen at your birth.

Birth plans are not a list of “orders to carry out” they’re PREFERENCES that we talk about during the day and we often have to pivot and adjust.

Patients often don’t want to stick to their birth plans in the moment, and I LOVE that we can change our minds. It empowers us!

For example, skin to skin right after birth might be FAR too overwhelming to a mom, so she asks us to put baby with dad or in the warmer for a few minutes. AOK. Let’s take care of mom just like we take care of baby.

Again, I love me a birth plan. I even have a free series that walks you through how to make one (with a template) and a video on how they’re used best…. but they’re not “orders” they’re “plans” (and we find that plans often change as adults):

Grab my free birth plan series here:

You don’t need a birth class, just follow some people online.

I hear this a lot.

I watched some videos, I followed some people online so I feel prepared for birth.

The reality is that you’re getting small chunks of great information. You may also be getting some false information (or partially true information) that won’t serve you.

I’m all for following birth professionals online. Obviously 😊. BUT it’s just not enough. It might be all you’re going to do, but please don’t pretend it will have the same benefits as a full birth class.

In fact, a lot of times I think that following people online nets zero because some of it is wrong, some is right and some you’re not sure how it “fits in” to actual birth. Understanding birth from start to finish puts you miles ahead!

If you’re thinking I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR A FULL BIRTH CLASS — I get you. 3 hours on Tuesday nights sucks. But this one is the easy way to get prepared (and it’s meant to get your partner involved too).

We haven’t done that for years, why would we do that now?

So often I hear about new techniques that people don’t want to do it because it’s new.

I get that, it’s important to be wary of new things, especially during pregnancy. Our history has medications they recommended that ended up being very problematic for babies….

But, honestly, we study things differently now (MUCH more differently).

For instance, providers are recommend aspirin during pregnancy for some people who are at higher risk of blood clots and preeclampsia. This is new because when I started we were NOT recommending Aspirin. BUT they have been recommending it for a few years for some people and they’ve definitely seen outcomes of aspirin use during pregnancy and the years following it for babies.

So, if you’re wary of something, here are 3 questions to ask:

1. Do you have some studies I could look at about that?
2. What kind of benefits would that have for me?
3. What types of risks does it have for moms or babies?

One other thing you can do is check out the ACOG stance on it (ACOG is the governing board in the US for obstetricians and their recommendations for patients).

Let’s go back to that aspirin example….

Do you have studies? Yes, there was a good-sized study that studied it vs placebo. Here is also a recommendation from JAMA on it with a lot more references.

** Your provider is likely MUCH better at looking at OB studies than you are — but I find that this helps my own peace of mind to look at the data myself, that may not be true for everyone.

What kind of benefits would it have for me? Maybe you’re pregnant with twins, or advanced maternal age, or overweight. All of those thing might be a reason you’re at higher risk for preeclampsia.

What kind of risks are there? The big concern is an increase in bleeding since aspirin is a blood thinner, however the studies haven’t shown a difference in either mom or baby between those on the aspirin vs those taking the placebo. You could consider stopping it before your due date (although the current recommendation is to take it through delivery).

It could also be problematic for your stomach, so be sure to take it with food and let them know if you have stomach pains.

What does ACOG say? They actually have an article that says who aspirin IS for and is NOT for.

Learning to talk with your provider like this is SO important. That’s an example to get you started. I give more in the provider communication bonus video in here.

Your body was meant to do this.

Ok, this is a really positive thing, because in most cases it really was.

I am constantly amazed at how our bodies adapt and change to both pregnancy and birth.

But nature is definitely not perfect, and some people’s bodies DON’T or CAN’T do things…. and that’s OK. That’s why we have medicine to help people out.

Our bodies WERE meant to heal, and adapt to change — and it’s amazing how they do that. And it’s also nice that we have doctors and medicine that can help us out when needed.

I often hear dumb things like “the pioneers didn’t have that, why do we need it” and I think we then need to remember how many people used to die during pregnancy, birth and postpartum life. How many babies we lost soon after birth too.

I’m glad we don’t live like that, aren’t you?

This isn’t to say that I’m against positive affirmations, I love them (grab them below) but I am also for being super realistic about what’s happening right now….

That didn’t happen at my birth, they don’t do it.

Ugh, the internet is FULL of birth stories. I mean, they’re great and lovely, and I think most often it’s mostly cathartic for the person who’s telling the story, more like therapy for them.

And if I was you, I’d treat it like that.

Just because XYZ happened at someone’s birth doesn’t mean it works, or would happen at yours.

Just because someone didn’t do XYZ (like, for instance, using a car seat for baby) and baby was OK doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

I use that car seat analogy a lot because it’s something we’ve all accepted as the basics for our kids. But once upon a time people thought — we don’t do that, that’s so much extra effort.

And honestly, most of us turned out fine. My parents just put me on the floor of the car if they weren’t holding me. But it was just different back then.

I can guarantee you dear reader, that I have done a lot of dumb things as a parent, that if I had to go back and do it again I’d do differently, because science has proven that what I did was wrong (aka, using bumpers in the crib).

And once again, I’m SO grateful for science. I need my babies near me. I need them to grow up and thrive, and change the world into a better place just like I’d hoped they would when I was pregnant with them.

So, listen to that team of professionals you have around you rather than some lady’s story about Amber teething necklaces. That’s all. 🙂

The reality is that your quick prenatal appointments really aren’t enough to get you prepared for birth. Getting a great educator on your team of professionals is such a smart idea. I’d love to join you on your pregnancy journey. I’ve created an easy, affordable way to get prepared for your birth with The Online Prenatal Class for Couples I’d love to see you inside.

And, if you’re not quite sure you’re ready for that whole thing, check out my free lesson from the class. It’s an easy way to decide if we’re the right fit for each other. 🙂

Now that I’m done with those 5, I am pretty sure I’m going to need a part two because I have a few more bubbling up inside me, so stay tuned.

If YOU got bad advice — tell me in the comments!

---

Sources:

• US Preventive Services Task Force. Aspirin Use to Prevent Preeclampsia and Related Morbidity and Mortality: US Preventive Services Task Force Recommendation Statement. JAMA. 2021;326(12):1186–1191. doi:10.1001/jama.2021.14781
• Aspirin versus Placebo in Pregnancies at High Risk for Preterm Preeclampsia
• CLASP: a randomised trial of low-dose aspirin for the prevention and treatment of pre-eclampsia among 9364 pregnant women
• ACOG stance on low-dose aspirin use during pregnancy