The Three Biggest Mistakes Labor Patients Make—And How to Prevent Them

Bringing new life into the world is an experience that can be filled with anticipation, excitement, and sometimes, anxiety. While much about labor and delivery is out of our control, there are some common, preventable mistakes that can greatly impact your experience in the labor room (and more especially how you feel about it afterwards). I want to share what patients often get wrong—and how you can set yourself up for a smoother, more empowering birth.

Before we get started though, grab birth plans made easy right here:

Let’s break down these common pitfalls, why they happen, and concrete steps to avoid them.

Mistake #1: Relying on Social Media for Birth Preparation

In today’s digital age, social media serves as the go-to for everything—including childbirth prep for some people. While Instagram, TikTok, and other platforms are packed with birth stories and advice… not all of it is created equal (or honestly, helpful).

The Problem: Mismatched Advice

Social media is full of helpful hints, but not everyone online is offering information relevant to your situation. In fact, many of the most popular birth influencers delvier mostly at home, even though the vast majority of people deliver at the hospital. The advice just doesn’t translate well.

How to Vet Your Sources

There are three important questions to ask before trusting any online expert:

1. Do they specialize in your chosen setting?
   If you’re delivering at a hospital, take advice from those with hospital experience — and if you’re delivering at home, I actually still recommend some hospital learning as many patients do end up having to go to the hospital.
2. What are their qualifications?
   Look for credentials. Nurses, doctors, and certified midwives have specialized training. For example, I am a registered nurse (RN, BSN), I have advanced fetal monitoring training, and am certified in emergency procedures for mothers and newborns.
3. What’s their depth of experience?
   More time in the delivery room means broader experience across lots of different scenarios and patient backgrounds. Value comes from both knowledge and hands-on experience.

The Takeaway

While social media can offer real-world perspectives and comfort, make sure your birth preparation is rooted in reputable, experienced voices—ideally from professionals trained to handle the specific circumstances of your planned birth location.

Remember it’s also important to get prepared for all of birth — something that is TOUGH to do on whatever the algorithm feeds you. I 100% recommend a full birth class.

Want to know more about birth? — check out these posts:

• Labor Anxiety? These 3 Things Help You Feel in Control
• Prodromal Labor: What is it and how to avoid it?
• How To Build Confidence For Your Birth Experience
• Why Labor Pain Can Feel So Different For Each Person
• Avoid Tearing at Delivery: 3 things you can do.

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Mistake #2: Staying Quiet When You Have Questions

One of the biggest pitfalls in the labor room is failing to speak up when you’re unsure or need more information. Medical decisions—like whether to induce labor, move forward with a C-section, or perform a cervical exam—should not feel like mandates. But, too many patients nod along, later feeling forced into doing something or even traumatized by their birth experience.

The Problem: Passive Agreement

It’s distressingly common for patients to simply agree with a provider’s recommendation without fully understanding it. This can stem from fear, feeling overwhelmed, or not wanting to “bother” busy healthcare staff. But birth is personal, and you deserve (and honestly, requested) to be part of every decision.

How to Advocate for Yourself

• Ask Questions:
  The moment your provider makes a suggestion—no matter how big (“I recommend a C-section”) or small (“Let’s do a cervical exam”)—is the right moment to ask what’s being seen, the risks and benefits, and if there are alternatives.
• Informed Consent Goes Both Ways:
  While it’s a provider’s responsibility to ensure you understand your options, remember that you play a vital role by voicing your concerns and seeking clarification. Only by doing so can you make informed choices that leave you feeling empowered.
• More Gray Than Black-and-White:
  Most situations are not emergencies and allow for discussion. True emergencies are unmistakable—marked by urgency and a crowded room—so in less-critical moments, don’t hesitate to slow things down and get the information you need.

The Takeaway

Active participation in your care is essential for a positive birth experience. When in doubt, speak up. It’s your body, your baby, and your experience.

Mistake #3: Not Preparing with Your Partner

All too often, the mother-to-be is the only one delving into prenatal education while partners remain in the dark. This disconnect shows up in the delivery room where partners, feeling lost, may retreat to their phones or a nap instead of providing valuable support.

The Problem: Solo Preparation

Traditional in-person classes can be inconvenient, and many online classes focus solely on the pregnant person, neglecting the partner’s needs entirely. Yet, your birth partner—whether spouse, parent, friend, or sibling—has a major role to play both at birth and once the baby is home. When partners aren’t prepared, confusion, misunderstandings, and a lack of support often follow.

How to Get Ready—Together

• Take a Class Designed for Couples:
  Choose online courses that cater to both of you. This ensures you’re on the same page and your partner feels prepared (not helpless).
• Communicate Expectations Early:
  Discuss big decisions—like sleep arrangements for the baby—or who will be present at birth well before labor. This avoids conflict and surprises when the time comes.
• Engage Your Partner:
  Encourage your partner to ask questions and be involved in the education process. Prepared partners feel more confident, supportive, and connected during labor.

The Takeaway

Don’t go it alone. When both you and your partner are prepared, you’ll have a more united and less stressful labor experience. You can even get started today right here.

Final Thoughts: Prepared, Not Scared

Labor is unpredictable, but by steering clear of these common mistakes, you set yourself up for a more confident, informed, and empowered birth.

• Vet your sources to ensure you’re getting advice tailored to your situation.
• Speak up and actively participate in medical decisions.
• Prepare with your partner so you’re both ready for what’s to come.

Which of these mistakes are you most concerned about? Share your thoughts in the comments, and remember: You deserve a birth experience that’s both safe and supported.