So your girlfriend is pregnant. Whether this news came as a total shock or you have been planning for it, there are some things you need to do now. If you’re not sure where to start, don’t worry – we’re here to help. Keep reading for our guide on what to do when your girlfriend is pregnant.
Before we get started — Hi — I’m Hilary — The Pregnancy Nurse 👩⚕️. I have been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of OB nursing experience, I am also the curly head behind Pulling Curls and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. 🩺 I have seen thousands of couples (most of which were not married) have babies together, so I’m a great resource for this!
I also have a quick email series just for partners:
Let me me clear on this fact….
It is normal to freak out when you find-out you’re pregnant
Even though I was in a committed relationship I still freaked out every time I found out I was pregnant. It’s a huge life change and one that comes with a lot of emotions. All of that is very normal, so don’t shame yourself for doing just that.
Talk to your girlfriend about her feelings and listen to what she has to say
The keyword in this one is to listen. Learn what she is thinking and feeling as this could be a very exciting moment, or it could be a crossroads.
If you are looking into options to not raise the child you’ll want to find some good resources in your area to start with. A local obstetrician or family planning clinic often has some good resources to start with.
Offer your support, both emotionally and financially
No matter what decision your girlfriend makes, it’s important to offer her unconditional support. Be there for her emotionally, and if necessary, provide financial assistance as well. If you are able to help take care of the child together or give your girlfriend the resources she needs to raise a child on her own, then be sure to do so.
Things she may need help with:
- Getting to/from appointments
- Signing up with insurance (be it yours, or medicaid, etc)
- Finding a doctor
ALL of that is something you can most DEFINITELY be there to help with early in her pregnancy.
Make an appointment with a doctor as soon as possible
It is essential that she schedules an appointment with a doctor as soon as possible. The doctor will be able to provide her with important information about her health, the health of the baby, and any potential risks associated with whatever decision she is wanting to make.
If at all possible (and if your girlfriend wants it) I would attend that first appointment to both give her support and find out as much information as you can.
That being said, the patient is her, and she can ask you to not attend, so be mindful of that.
Help your girlfriend get ready for the baby
Once your girlfriend has made the choice of how she wants to move forward, it’s important for her to get ready for the baby as soon as possible. There are many things that she’ll need to buy or do in order to prepare, from purchasing a crib and car seat to attending childbirth classes and scheduling regular doctor visits. Offer your help and support in any way that you can.
Being creative in things that you can help with will show her that you love and care for her, and you plan to be present when the baby is born.
Find someone to talk to
It’s normal for both of you to experience a range of emotions during this process, so it’s important that you both find someone to talk to – whether it be family members, friends or even professional help.
You will definitely want to discuss this with your parents as soon as possible. They may be happy or worried, but either way they do want to know.
No matter what steps you’re taking, make sure that you take the time to process your thoughts and emotions during this difficult process.
Join a Prenatal Class
Having a child is both exciting and overwhelming, and getting prepared for the birth (and what will happen) is a big step for both of you. I offer The Online Prenatal Class for Couples that was created to get BOTH of you prepared for the upcoming birth!
Support your girlfriend through the pregnancy and childbirth process
The pregnancy and childbirth journey can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Help your girlfriend stay positive and stress-free by helping her with everyday tasks like grocery shopping and meal preparation, taking care of the house, running errands and providing emotional support when needed.
Be a responsible father once the baby is born
Once the baby is born, you’ll need to take responsibility for your role as a father and provide support for both your girlfriend and the baby. Whether you are raising the child together or living in separate households, be sure to stay involved with your child’s life. Offer financial help where necessary and make time to spend with them on a regular basis.
Being a father is an amazing experience, but also comes with its challenges. Make sure you take the time to research and educate yourself on everything related to parenting before taking any steps forward.
If your girlfriend is pregnant, the most important thing you can do is be there for her emotionally.
Offer support and understanding during this difficult time. You should also educate yourself on what to expect during pregnancy and childbirth by taking The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. This will help you be prepared for the upcoming changes in your life and relationship. By being supportive and informed, you can create a positive experience for both you and your partner as she goes through pregnancy and becomes a mother.
And, join that partner email list to help give you a few ideas with all the changes that are happening:
- About the Author
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A nurse since 1997, she has worked in various fields including pediatrics, geriatrics & hospice. She has 20 years of labor and delivery experience in the San Jose, CA and Phoenix, AZ areas.
As an evidence-based prenatal educator Hilary has delivered thousands of babies and has educated hundreds of thousands of parents from a diverse patient population to help them have a confident birth.
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