The best way to prepare for birth isn’t more random tips — it’s a clear, step-by-step understanding of what to expect, what your options are, and how to navigate it all as a team. That’s where real confidence comes from.

Social Media

We do it, we ALL do it — I was just on social media looking at my son’s chances of getting a job he’d had a final interview for. Why? I have no idea — I’m just saying we all look to social media bout what to expect from life.

But, just like videos on social media have nothing to do with my own son’s chances of getting a job — it also can have some issues in preparing for birth.

But why?

You Don’t Get the Full Story

The videos that do the best on social media are often short (at least under 90 seconds — but often closer to 30 seconds) and include a hook that draws you in that often peaks your interest on a topic you’re interested in (but doesn’t fulfill on that promise).

Ultimately, you often get a small nibble of information which leaves you with more questions. Then, you head into the comment section to learn more only to find so many more questions and often a LOT of people with a LOT of opinions (not facts).

This can leave you feeling overwhelmed and like you can NEVER learn what’s important for your upcoming birth.

Social media can be:

• An OK way to supplement your already prepared and confident brain (I recommend this)
• A great way to share how you’re feeling and not feel so alone
• A nice way to find people you trust to help you learn MORE — you may have even found me there (find me @pregnancynurse on all the platforms).

But it really, really can’t be your main way to get prepared.

At the very least try to get videos on Youtube vs the short reels. You’ll at least get more of the full picture on a topic. You can find my channel (with a TON of videos) here. But I want more than even that for you!

Clips give you pieces. Preparation comes from seeing the whole picture.

It Can’t be Trusted.

When I first started really working as a content creator in 2014 (I’m old, I know) I learned that “if you are willing to write on a topic, that means you’re an expert”.

And I was like…. what?

Sure, that might be true on things like what diapers are best, or what hair product works best in curly hair… but when it’s something as important as your baby…? Or, possibly even your life?

Here we are in 2026 and this is honestly just a standard. There are so many people out there saying acting as experts who’ve….

• Doula’d in a few births
• Maybe just had a few kids of their own (or honestly, just one)

And these might be fine people to have a chat with at your local mom’s group, but when you’re looking for actual foundational advice for your pregnancy, labor & birth and managing postpartum — they’re not who you give that trust to.

My best tips:

• Look for experience — as a labor nurse you really don’t become competent until about 8 years into your practice — so, you should be looking for real experience in the labor room (not a physical therapist, or an RN who has not worked L&D).
• Combine that with initials — I’m an RN-BSN which means I am licensed and I have a bachelor’s degree. I have met minimum requirements a few times, which means I meet a standard.
• No Outliers — their advice should be fairly standard, and should empower you to make choices for yourself. Not pushing you into one specific way to birth.

Social media often shares opinions — not context. Learning from an expert helps you understand the “why” behind what’s happening, so you can make informed decisions that feel right for you.

Focus Just on Planned Stuff

This one catches a lot of people off-guard because the planned stuff is actually the foundation for a lot of classes. Things like:

• Stages of labor
• How baby progresses down the birth canal
• How to manage the planned pain of labor.

These are things that happen in almost all births.

We know they’ll happen — so it is smart to prepare for them. But they should only be a small section of your class!

There was a recent study that showed that out of 65 birth classes they looked at — NONE covered the unplanned events. And I’m not talking about crazy rare things — I’m talking cesareans, inductions, episiotomies. I outline that in this article.

Now, clearly a sample size of 65 isn’t big — but it’s something. AND they clearly didn’t look at the class I recommend as it has a chapter on caesareans and inductions.

The reality is that a lot of pregnancy, labor, birth and postpartum is unplanned. You need a class that is going to talk about the unplanned things that might happen. And yes — I did say postpartum. Just as important to know what to do if that’s going wrong too!

It’s not the unexpected that makes labor feel overwhelming — it’s not being prepared for it. When you understand what situations like induction or cesarean actually look like, you can approach them with less anxiety and more confidence instead of trying to process everything in the moment.

Want to know more about those unplanned events? — check out these posts:

• Episiotomy vs a Natural Tear: Which Is Better?
• What To Do If Labor Isn’t Progressing?
• What You Need to Know About Wired vs Wireless Monitors in Labor
• Your Complete Guide to Epidurals in Labor: Everything You Need to Know
• 3 Tips to Using Movement During Labor WITH an Epidural

Alone

This final one is easy to do.

Schedules are crazy, partners may not be super jazzed to learn about this — or think learning about this is up to you.

But I’m here to say that you can be as prepared as you can be — but if 5 nurses run in your room (see unplanned events above) and that partner starts to freak out, that freak out will start to pass-on to you too.

And I don’t want that for you. I want BOTH of you to feel cool, calm, collected.

Of course, this dives right into the fac that most people are “preparing” on social media and may send a few important topics to their partner, but the partner is left with those bits and pieces, and questions that overwhelm them.

That’s why a class, you can take together, and get all the important stuff is so important. I recommend this one (it’s specifically there to do with a partner — even if it’s your mom or a friend). It only takes a few hours, and if time together is at an absolute premium in the bundle there are key point videos where it’s like getting the cliff notes of labor!

One of the biggest shifts couples notice isn’t just what they learn — it’s how much more connected and prepared they feel together. When you’ve talked through what to expect, your options, and how to support each other, you’re not trying to figure things out in labor — you’re working as a team.

I just wanted to say how glad I am that you’re here. That you’re even thinking about getting prepared.

I know you’re going to pick the right path for you, and have a wonderful journey into parenthood.

What other crappy ways have you seen people prepare — tell me in the comments!

The post The 3 Worst Ways People Prepare for Birth appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

And yes — this is from both my own 3 births, plus watching thousands give birth in the hospital and talking to millions online. It’s something I think about a lot.

I even did a video on it:

Low Pressure

This is the first thing that came to mind. I felt FAR too much pressure to:

• Clean my house (my husband should step it up more — I’m not saying I’m cool living with it dirty)
• Still attend all the functions
• Put myself into labor
• Manage full life postpartum

Those are just the few that came off the top of my head.

But the reality is you’re going a full on human inside of you, let that be your main goal. Allow the rest of your team to come in and do the other things.

And stop thinking you control so much (like labor) it’s just putting too much on you, and you don’t need that. You control a lot less than the world makes you think you do.

Now, this doesn’t mean you lay on the couch all day. Still use movement to your advantage. I was actually really good at doing stretching and some working out, plus my job was pretty movement-filled. But I wish I’d allowed myself more naps without feeling like I needed to do more….

Want to know more pregnancy tips — check out these posts:

• The Three Biggest Mistakes Labor Patients Make—And How to Prevent Them
• Mistakes You’re Making That Makes Labor Longer
• 5 Mistakes People Make Preparing to go to the Hospital to Have Their Baby
• 5 Mistakes People Make in Their Third Trimester

Live in a State with Maternity Leave

Clearly, you can’t really control this — but gosh, living in California with paid maternity leave was a world different in Utah where I had very few maternity leave benefits.

I had enough sick days to spread out and pay for my health insurance while I was off.

Lucky me.

I’m just saying when you’re considering where to live, especially if you want a family, this should be part of the discussion. That is all.

But, once you’re pregnant it sort of is what it is…. (and I get that).

Check out my full post on maternity leave.

Taken an Out of Hospital Birth Class

My hospital birth class just sucked.

It really made me a great patient, rather than preparing me for birth or to make choices on possible intervention.

Now, not all birth classes are like that. I taught for my hospital and I really tried to prepare them for both what to expect, and how to manage the hospital chaos. But, I think those types of classes are rare. Most nurses don’t re-design the curriculum (or have mangers who let them)…

I recommend this class. Plus, it prepares your partner too, which is a big win.

Want to know more about birth class benefits? — check out these posts:

• Do You Need a Birth Class if You Plan to Get an Epidural
• Alternatives to Hospital Birth Classes
• How a Birth Class Changes Pregnancy, Labor, Birth & Life With Baby
• 6 Lies You Hear About Birth Class
• Why are Birth Classes So Expensive?
• Do Birth Classes Improve Birth Outcomes? What do the studies show?

Kick Counts

I wasn’t the best kick counter — even though Kaiser gave me a laminated book to do them in (let’s remember smart phone apps weren’t really a thing when I was having babies).

I wish I did them better. I tried.

And honestly, that’s all we can do — but the data makes me realize the outcome could’ve been worse because I didn’t pay as close attention to fetal movement as I should have.

I may have been too busy with the dumb things in #1….

Again, your main job is to grow a healthy baby and monitoring fetal movement is one of the best ways to do that in your third trimester. AND Kick counts is an evidence-based way to do them. Grab my cheat sheet on how to do them here:

As a note, I also wasn’t great about SIDS precautions either. I think we can always look back at our parenting journey and wish we’d been a little safer. I definitely tried though, but I should’ve taken the bumpers off. I knew better.

Use a Midwife

I’m talking a Certified Nurse Midwife.

I just think they’re the bomb. There are SO many benefits to them. Most of all they tend to use less interventions and still have really great outcomes with birth.

I’d love one that is tied in well to an OBGYN office as well. More and more practices are allowing midwives to handle care, and consult an OBGYN or a perinatologist when necessary. But, you can still see them, they can help with your delivery, etc.

It works well for overworked OBGYN’s, and allows us to get better care.

I wish I’d used one, but they weren’t available where we had to have our baby — so, such is life.

If you’re not in love with your doctor, and you’re not past 30 weeks yet — check out a midwife in your area.

Again, a certified nurse midwife — abbreviated CNM — they can deliver in the hospitals and provide REALLY great care!

Check out this video with more info:

Get Induced if Needed

If you know anything about my birth story, I resisted an induction even at 12 days overdue and even when I decided on one I cried and cried.

Wasted life.

I had prodromal labor for weeks, my cervix was 5 cm — I honestly just needed my water broken to have that baby but instead I insisted that nature was the way.

I tried all the things to put myself into labor… but why on earth didn’t I just consent to an induction?

I don’t know — but studies really have proven that they’re safe after 39 weeks. I was 100% miserable being pregnant and thought I was going into labor every night. Plus, my cervix was ripe and ready.

I was dumb, I wanted control over things. Like an angry toddler I thought “I do it mySELF” — but ultimately I needed them to break my water. But oh no, there are more dumb Hilary stories ahead — keep reading!

Want to know more about preparing your body? — check out these posts:

• 4 Things You Can Do to Prepare Your Cervix for Labor
• Best Sex Position to Induce Labor?
• Pumping To Induce Labor? Will it work?
• Does Evening Primrose Oil Induce Labor?

Done Perineal Massage

I tore a lot with my first, although he was a forceps delivery, so it’s hard to know if that could’ve been avoided, but perineal massage has been proven to prevent the larger tears. I think it’s worth the effort.

Although the pre-labor-nurse-me might have felt icky about it.

The labor nurse me would’ve been fine with it.

Go Through a Birth Plan with Partner

I wish I’d thought through what I wanted for birth with my partner.

Honestly, I kept him pretty out of the loop — and he maybe could’ve talked some sense into me about the whole not being induced situation as I sat crying to him that my body wasn’t going to go into labor.

That’s what a partner is for — they’re there to talk thinks over. I wish I’d used mine more, but hey — I’m The Pregnancy Nurse — I’ve got this (spoiler alert: I did not).

We all need a partner, and I have a handy birth plan series for both of you right here:

Checked my Vitamins Better

I honestly just took whatever prenatal vitamin Kaiser sold in their pharmacy — but I wish I’d checked the levels better. The more research I’m finding out about Choline and other vitamins — I just think prenatal vitamins are something I could’ve done better on.

I like this guide from my friend Mckenzie who is a Dietician. She gives you the levels you should be striving for, and some good options to take (even if you can’t keep down those giant pills).

Want to know more about prenatal care? — check out these posts:

• Charlie Horses in Pregnancy: What you can do to prevent them?
• Pregnancy, Tylenol® & Autism: What Expecting Moms Need to Know
• Allergies During Pregnancy: What’s Safe and What’s Not
• 7 Habits of Happy Pregnant Women
• Month-by-Month Pregnancy Timeline & To Do List

Prepare Partner More

I WISH (especially on my first) I’d prepared my partner more about what he could do to help me both during pregnancy and birth.

I wish I’d taken a class that talked to him at all.

They were sort of an afterthought in my birth class. Honestly, it wasn’t all that helpful:

A birth class is a GREAT way to do this (even though so many are bad at it). I recommend this one.

Let them Break my Water Earlier

So, as I said above I was resisting that induction and boy oh BOY did I resist them breaking my water.

I knew as soon as my water was broken I couldn’t just go home — I had to have that baby.

So I didn’t let them do it, even though they asked a few times — I said no.

But, as soon as I let them do it — boom. Baby.

As soon as I let go my own control I had my baby.

Honestly, a life lesson. I’m a controller and maybe they did know best.

My bad. I’d do it differently next time.

Prepare for Postpartum

I’m always horrible at this. With my second baby I moved 10 days after he was born, and a few days before birth my mom said — “You know you can’t lift anything when you guys move” — and I was like — I’d honestly never considered my own safety in that scenario…

And yes, I was a labor nurse.

I just thought I could be superhuman. I wouldn’t bleed. Not me, I’ve got stuff to do.

Buying myself pads is always an afterthought.

BTW, if supplies are on your list of things to get — grab my checklist here:

Want to know more postpartum tips — check out these posts:

• First Poop After Delivery: Make it less-hard (literally)
• Your Guide to Your Postpartum Plan with Free Template
• Self Care During Postpartum & Pregnancy
• C-Section Recovery: Tips You’ll Need
• Postpartum Essentials for a Great Recovery

I just wish I’d prepare better for postpartum because I’m really bad at….

Give Myself Grace / Be Kinder to Myself

I know I went over this a bit at the beginning but these are words I type to new moms countless times during the day.

Please be kind to yourself.

Give yourself grace, this is really hard.

They were words I never said to myself.

You’re 5 days out, you should be driving the kids to school, why are you crying so much?

That’s what I said to myself.

I also wish I’d gone on anti-anxiety meds after my last baby. I was having panic attacks almost daily, but I knew it wasn’t postpartum depression so I thought I should just power through. That was a mistake. It’s not right for everyone, but it would’ve made my transition easier.

But, I’m here to say — let other people help. It makes them feel good, and you deserve it. You’re re-populating the earth single-handedly.

And I’m also hear to say that give you a few months and you can be that village that other people so desperately need. We have to be kinder, and more willing to help each other out. Give others grace.

It makes a better world for all of us. I love helping out new moms, it’s one of my greatest joys as a human. Please let me (or someone like me) do it for you.

Be sure to take a birth class that prepares you for realistic expectations postpartum. Far too many of us believe life will be like the photos we see on Instagram. It’s likely not. I recommend this class.

So, those are what I wish I’d done differently. What did I miss? Tell me in the comments!

The post If I had a Baby Again this is What I’d Do Different appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

While you’re here be sure to grab my organized before delivery checklist:

The first question:

Is it safe pain?

Some pains should be sending us right into the doctor’s office, or into the hospital.

While it’s definitely important to talk with your provider about what to watch for YOU in your situation, here are a few questions to ask:

Are these contractions, and am I before 36 weeks? — if so, call provider or go into L&D

Has this pain suddenly gotten worse? That may need to trigger a phone call — especially if it lasts long

Does the pain have any other symptoms like a fever, burning when you pee, sudden fatigue or shortness of breath etc — if so, that triggers a call to your provider or a visit to L&D.

Again, I’d encourage you to ask your provider about problem signs specific to YOU and YOUR pregnancy.

While there are a lot of very NORMAL pains of pregnancy, it doesn’t mean we can’t work to make them better.

Want to know more about pregnancy pains? — check out these posts:

• Bladder Infections in Pregnancy
• 5 Fixes for Groin Pain During Pregnancy
• Sleeping During Pregnancy: Tips by Trimester
• What Does Round Ligament Pain Feel Like
• How to Sit in an Office Chair During Pregnancy

Ok, now that we’ve gotten past that part — it’s important to ask yourself:

Do you want to know if this is NORMAL or if it needs to be FIXED?

I think (once we know it’s “safe”) this is the most important question to ask yourself.

Some pains aren’t that bad — but you worry something is wrong. Things like cramping, short stabbing pains that are tolerable but it sort of feels like your uterus is ripping out of your body….

So, if that’s the case ask your provider if they’re normal.

However, some of the pains we have are affecting our day to day life and can really be problematic.

At that point you want a fix, or at least an attempt at a fix.

This is your reminder that your provider is really there for your health and safety, but does not know all the tips to fixing all the aches and pains of pregnancy. They will need to refer you out, and likely it will take some work on you end to get an appointment and then do the stretches they recommend. This isn’t a quick fix — but you may be wanting to seek for help. And honestly, it may not get all that much better, but if it’s worth a try for you, it should be worth a try for them.

They may have a “first line” of defense to help you in the office — things like some specific stretches to try, a pregnancy belly band, heating packs, in specific spots, etc. Often providers will try those first to maybe fix the problem and safe you the time/effort of finding someone else.

However, sometimes you do need someone else!

People they can refer you to help (there is likely more than this, but these are what I thought of first):

• Physical therapy
• Chiropractor
• Massage

I hear some people saying they went to the physical therapist (one visit) and say “it didn’t help at all” and that’s not what we’re even hoping for with this. It’s likely going to take:

• Changes in your lifestyle, how you do specific movements may need to change and adjust
• It may take multiple visits
• Visiting a few of those people (aka Physical Therapist and a massage therapist)
• You doing work on the days you’re not going in.

I recently had a pretty bad issue, and I was shocked that it took almost a full week of doing the stretching (which hurt a LOT) for it to really show improvement, but then it rapidly started to get better and I felt better by about 10 days in.

I sort of just had to believe she knew what she was doing…. which was hard for this nurse.

And now I do those stretches a few times/month to stay limber, and not have the problem again later on.

However, I know a lot of people feel like…

My Doctor Ignores My Pain — What do I do?

You have to remember that doctors are busy, and the reality is that almost every patient that comes to see them (especially anyone in the third trimester) is experiencing pain.

There is no way for them ascertain how much the pain hurts (and if you’re willing to put the work in to fix it as I mentioned above) and if it’s working taking the time to get you into someone else.

The words that I think really help are:

This is really affecting my daily life, I’m not able to do the things I need to do — who can help me?

I know that sort of sounds dramatic — but I think sometimes it takes that type of talk to make things happen, unfortunately.

If me helping you know the words to say helps you out — check out this. It has a whole provider communication video that can help like this!

Hopefully, when you use words like that your doctor will take the time to see what they can do.

Keep in mind that if you come to the next appointment and haven’t made your appointment with the provider or done their stretches, that makes them wonder if referring you to someone really helps — so I can only strongly recommend you start the ball rolling on your end.

The other bad news I hear a lot is that physical therapists in their area are booked. I’d still encourage you to make an appointment, and maybe call around to see if there is anyone else they could recommend.

It’s tricky because I think a chiropractor can be VERY helpful, but some chiropractors practice so far out of their practice (aka, let me talk about how to deliver your baby) it’s hard for OBGYN’s to refer them out. But, I wouldn’t hesitate to send you to a good one, they are great and manipulating your bones and I think can even be a great compliment to a physical therapist.

You want to look for a chiropractor who is trained in the Webster method. That’s a special certification for pregnancy help (as far as I understand it

And honestly, if you don’t need a referral, you might just start asking around to see if anyone you know has one they liked…. Just know it sometimes takes a few providers before you find the one that’s right for you.

Let me just summarize it in a few points:

1. Decide if you want to know if it’s normal or if you need a fix.
2. Try the first line of defense and see if those are helping
3. Ask your provider for a referral out to get more help if necessary.
4. Be aware that not all pains can be fixed, but hopefully someone can help you manage it better.

Honestly, learning how to navigate the healthcare system is hard. It’s almost like a foreign country.

The bad news is that the hospital will also be quite tricky — which is why everyone needs to get a birth class in.

I recommend this one. It can be done in just a few hours and is such a good foundation for moving through the rest of your pregnancy, labor, birth and life after baby!

The post What to Do If You are in Pain During Pregnancy appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

Before we get started, this is the #1 way to feel confident about birth WITH your partner. You won’t be pregnant forever (even if it seems like it), get going!

Start Asking Questions at Your Appointments

Maybe you feel confident right NOW at prenatal appointments, or don’t really have questions — but now is the time to start getting confident asking questions. Ones like:

• Is there a brand of prenatal vitamins that you recommend?
• Should I be taking aspirin, why or why not (most important before 20 weeks) — and should I stop before birth?
• I would prefer not to have an IV at birth — is that something you are comfortable with?

The questions can be all sorts, and I really think that once you hit 20 weeks, it’s an awesome time to start talking about things you’re hoping for at your birth. That way they can get to know you better, and you can get to know their communication style.

Build Confidence in Other Situations

As a mom to adult kids, I see how tough communication can be for them.

They’re in SO much pain when they ask someone a question at the store, book an appointment or HEAVEN FORBID have an telephone conversation with someone.

If you find that it’s hard for you to have these types of conversations, I can guarantee it won’t be better once you get into the hospital and you feel extra lost and concerned about your pregnancy.

Have these types of conversations more often. If you can make a phone call instead of an email, try it.

If you’re at a baby store and you’re wondering about a few products, ask the staff.

Build your confidence about learning from others, communicating your needs and them making the choice that’s best for you.

I know this sounds simple, but it’s HUGE in the labor room. Far too often I hear people say they were “pushed” into something, when in reality they were offered something and didn’t know how to get more information to make a choice themselves…

Want to know more hospital tips? — check out these posts:

• How To Have A Natural Hospital Birth
• Hospital Policies You Can NOT Say No To.
• My #1 Tip for Hospital Birth
• How to Time Going to the Hospital in Labor
• When Will the Hospital Admit You For Labor?

Think About Your Options

So many people make a birth plan thinking that’s a “plan” but in reality I think creating a birth plan together just allows you some time to think about options, and what’s important to you about your upcoming birth.

I actually have a series called Birth Plans Made Easy that I think will really help you make yours in the RIGHT way:

You might be wondering what the “wrong” way is…? Good question. I think the wrong way is to think of it as an actual PLAN. I much prefer birth preferences, or hopes…. you’re just thinking what you’d wish if circumstances allow it.

When you’re too tied to that plan, I’ve just seen it go awry….

Often on social media I’ll see people say “they didn’t follow my plan at all” and it’s really just there to help us know what you HOPE for, it’s not “orders” for us and we definitely have discussions with you before following the “plan”.

Things change a LOT during labor, and you have to be willing to be flexible.

Get Prepared

Just like in school, the main way you feel confident is to STUDY.

And, just like in school you need to study ALL of it. So many people think:

“Oh, I don’t need the cesarean part, I’m not having one of those” when in reality — the “test” (aka, labor) is whatever mother nature gives you, not what you’ve prepared for.

Here are a few things I hear a lot:

I am going to my prenatal appointments: Sad news, these are really more to make sure you’re healthy, less to to prepare you for birth. Your provider just doesn’t have the time to really go through it with you, plus make sure you’re healthy.

And honestly, they’re often just not great teachers. You want to take a class from a great teacher!

I’m watching stuff on social media –– not saying that’s bad, but social media makes it REALLY easy to cherry pick what you want to know about. And in case you haven’t heard it before, a LOT of the videos on social media are just WRONG. People had something happen ONCE and then act like that’s how it “always” happens.

I just had a video pop-off that just said most people aren’t bothered by the things everyone freaks out about on social — and I had SO many comments agreeing!

I should also mention that you’re going to spend a TON of time watching social media videos, and still not get totally prepared.

A course puts it all in one spot so you don’t waste your time….

Oh, and what are the chances your partner is watching those same videos? May I just suggest you want a teammate — not just a cheerleader in your corner. Get them prepared with you, and it will pay off BIG.

I only need to learn about pain. Honestly, if pain is your only issue, it’s easily solved in the hospital. Getting prepared to:

• Make choices in labor
• Know what to expect from your body both during birth but also especially during postpartum
• How to take care of yourself after baby

will be huge for you! It’s so easy to forget ourselves, but you matter SO much in this equation, and preparation will pay-off!

It’s too expensive! I agree, many of the birth classes out there are FAR too expensive! Which is why I love sharing this very affordable option. You might even be able to get your insurance to cover it, and you can use your HSA funds to pay for it.

Let me finally say that there is no one who wants you to feel more confident in the labor room than your nurse. She’s there, cheering you on to get the birth you’re hoping for and wants to support you in making the best choices for you at the time.

What are YOU doing to feel confident about your upcoming birth? Tell us in the comments!

The post How To Build Confidence For Your Birth Experience appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

Before we get going, some of these are those tips “no one talks about” — but I’m here giving the good work every day here at The Pregnancy Nurse® — let me KEEP hanging out with you:

I also have a video based on this post you might find helpful as well:

A note on happy:

I think it’s important to remember that we can’t let our circumstances define who we are as a person. As a nurse who saw thousands of patients I was always impressed by how some people could absolutely thrive in tough conditions, and some would mostly wallow (coming from a family of wallowers).

We can be happy no matter our circumstances, and I think these 7 habits can help a lot too!

Moving Their Hips

Hip pain is unusual at ALL during pregnancy, but there are things we can do to help it and maybe even make birth easier.

Although, every time I say this — it sounds “adult” — but I’m meaning that keeping our hips open and active can be a big win. Honestly, even in the adult way (more on that here) — but let me give you a few other ways:

Deep Squats: This helps both strengthen and stretch our hips to give baby their best way out of the birth canal AND decrease hip/leg pain.

Personally, I’m HORRIBLE at squats (I’m talking about the kind where your bum hovers just above the floor) — and I learned that having a wall or a steady couch behind me REALLY helped. If you don’t know how to get into this position either, please google it — there’s lots of people out there that can help!

Lateral Movement — we’re so much into “walking” type movements (moving in one plane of movement) often we don’t have the time when we’re looking to move our hips OUTSIDE that movement plane. Look for workouts that have you moving your legs laterally. They will thank you!

Stretch Them — Hip stretches can make for a MUCH happier pregnant person. Look for hip prenatal stretches and use them even daily. I’m a huge fan of mobility training where you MOVE in the stretch vs just “holding” it.

Pro Tip: If you have hip pain, ask your provider for a referal to the physical therapist. There is a chance these types of movements (especially when done wrong) can hurt rather than help. I wish I had one earlier, I think it would’ve helped a lot!

Want to know more about the pains of pregnant? — check out these posts:

• Bladder Infections in Pregnancy
• 5 Fixes for Groin Pain During Pregnancy
• Sleeping During Pregnancy: Tips by Trimester
• What Does Round Ligament Pain Feel Like
• How to Sit in an Office Chair During Pregnancy

The Due Date Is a Guess

So many people figure they’ll have the baby by the due date, or even earlier — and, as a mom who went late every time I’m telling you that type of mindset isn’t helping.

Yes, prepare — baby may well come early. You want to know preterm labor signs, and have that car seat and birth class done early — but the reality is most people, who don’t go early (meaning before 37 weeks), go past their due date.

For me, I think it’s smart to think the week after you due date, or even 2 weeks after.

For instance, my daughter was due mid April and I just told people “the end of April” (honestly, the more you say it out loud, the more you believe it) and when she came 12 days late — I wasn’t as devastated if I’d thought “early April” in my mind.

You might also find this post helpful:

Finding Gratitude

There is a lot to hate about pregnancy, I’m right there with you. So much that I wrote a post on the worst parts of pregnancy — but there is also a LOT to be grateful for every day.

• Tiny (or big) kicks
• Providers who take time to listen and care
• A partner who does the dishes (or insert whatever else they’re doing to help out)
• Feet that didn’t explode even though they felt like they would.

I have a daily habit of listing 5-10 things I’m grateful for in my planner. It really just helps me to notice all the good when my mind immediately wants to find all the bad.

Some positive affirmations can help too:

Hydrating

I don’t think it was until the day that I was very dehydrated (with the flu) and got 2 bags of IV fluids at my doctor’s office, I realized HOW. MUCH. BETTER. I could feel by being hydrated.

From that day on I worked to get much more water in to my body — and I know that I felt better because of it.

Did you know the biggest cause of contractions that go nowhere (some people call it false labor) is dehydration.

That means your uterus contracts, and can even be quite painful, but it isn’t pushing baby into the birth canal. It’s mostly just an ornery uterus. And no one wants that.

For me, I try to fill a cup a few times each day so that I have fresh, cold water near me as I work, and try to get in as many fluids before dinner time as I can. I then drank much less to hopefully have to pee less during the night — because sleep is important too!

Getting Prepared Bite-By-Bite

If you’re past 20 weeks I think now is the time to start getting prepared for your birth. From beginning to end (wondering what else you’re missing — check out my month-by-month timeline).

Now, lots of people think that is just following some people on social media — but I’m here to tell you that it is really easy to miss what you need for your birth if you do it in that haphazard way.

I recommend getting a great birth class, and just get going.

I also love online classes because you can review the info you need towards the end as well.

And, don’t worry — even if you’re past 20 weeks, getting started today is the best thing you can do. I actually don’t recommend finishing til’ closer to 32-34 weeks.

Getting prepared a few bites at a time makes it less overwhelming and it builds an inner confidence inside you that you’re going to have a great birth. It’s a big win!

And then yes, you can supplement that with some great experienced providers on social media. Here’s my favorite on Youtube, Tiktok, Instagram and Facebook << be sure to give that a follow on your favorite platform!

Balancing Carbs and Proteins

Sure, no one wants to fail their glucose test, but I gotta say that people who follow the basic gestational diabetes diet tend to feel better during their pregnancy.

It’s not as hard as you think. While I think every pregnant patient deserves a nutrition consult (this one’s my favorite — and yes, she teaches a nutrition bonus video in here), if that’s not in the cards for you — you can follow this:

• Meals: Aim for under 40 g of carbohydrates (yes, you want to be looking at the nutriton labels)
• Snacks: Aim for under 20 g of carbs
• Balance it out with great protein choices like:
  • Nuts or nut butters
  • Cheese
  • Yogurt
  • Meat (remember to heat deli meat beyond steaming)
  • Beans/Legumes

When you do this, you’re just not going to have the highs and lows of blood sugar during pregnancy. Even those without diabetes will experience that more during pregnancy than when they’re NOT pregnant — so it really helps!

So, yes, sometimes I had a chicken breast and a brownie for dinner, but it still evened me out and I felt much better (although, probably less better than if I’d have a better complex carb than a brownie).

And, grab my safe eating guide here for more tips!:

Involving Their Partner

Now, you can’t control your partner (unfortunately — I’ve been married 28 years and still figuring this one out), you can be aware that they can’t read your mind.

A few tips:

Be specific about what your problem is (and try to remember the probably isn’t usually them). Aka:

• The trash is too heavy for me to take out (not “you never take out the trash“)
• My feet REALLY hurt – can you rub them for me (and you may even have to show them HOW to rub them)
• I feel really alone preparing for the baby

A good partner will help to brainstorm how you can make a change for these problems.

Sometimes you have to remind them that you’re not saying these things to hurt their feelings, but that you have changed a lot and are doing so much for this new baby you need help that you didn’t need before.

One of the biggest ones is that women feel alone in preparations for the baby. One of the best ways to start is to take a birth class with them to help them understand what’s going on and how they can help.

A REALLY love that this one is targeted for couples, and even includes questions to start conversations like this. Couples absolutely love that part!

Remember, a lot of the pregnancy battle is with being pregnant — not so much with your partner. So, remembering that you’re fighting the aches and pains pregnancy together rather than alone can help a lot.

Ok, those are the first seven I thought of. Do you have other ones you’d add? Tell me in the comments!

The post 7 Habits of Happy Pregnant Women appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

A note on months vs weeks: We mostly count pregnancy by WEEKS, but as humans it’s much more easy to track by months…. so I’ll include your basic weeks with each month as well. Each month counts as about 4.5 weeks — in case you’re keeping track

AND, if you’re not sure how many weeks you are — I have a handy calculator in my pregnancy calendar post << that one also has some dates to keep in mind with testing, etc.

I also have a pregnancy planner/memory book that you might find helpful as well. It has checklists for a lot of these things too!

I also have a month by month playlist on Youtube:

Month 1-2

(up to week 9)

You may not know this, but your “pregnancy” starts on the date of your last menstrual period (and you’re clearly not pregnant on that day). Most people get pregnant at about week 2, and don’t find out until closer to 4-6 weeks of pregnancy — which is why I combined these.

And yes, that does mean you’re really only “pregnant” for about 38 weeks — in case that helps.

During this month your main goal will be survival and getting prenatal vitamins down. Anything else you do is a bonus. And feel free to send that to your partner.

Honestly, most people don’t feel sick or tired in that first month — but as the baby and placenta start to get bigger you start to feel it…. Fun fact though, I felt tired, but I never felt all that nauseated. You may get lucky!

Your placenta is building and it just takes a LOT of energy these first few months.

Tasks:

• Pick your obstetrics provider (I’m a HUGE fan of midwives — CNM’s, so don’t count them out)
• Get a prenatal vitamin, and start taking it (ideally you’re taking prenatal vitamins anytime you’re of a childbearing age and you could get pregnant)

Not sure which one to take — Feed your Zest has a GREAT prenatal guide here.

Month 3

(9-13 weeks)

Ok, you may be in the very trenches of morning sickness and again — just surviving this month.

Tasks:

• Hopefully have your first prenatal appointment
• Hopefully have your first ultrasound
• Get labwork done (this is important, including the STD testing)
• Ask your provider if you should be taking aspirin

Aspirin is a NEW thing — feel free to check out that podcast episode to learn more about it, or I have more info in this post on preeclampsia.

A few other thoughts:

What if you don’t like your provider? It is SUPER easy to change at this point. In fact, I don’t recommend paying your provider ANYTHING EXTRA until you’re SURE that you’re going to stick with them (some may ask for your copayment up front, but you can put them off early in pregnancy — although, you may have to pay a small copay for the visit, etc).

That first ultrasound? At that first ultrasound you’re usually checking for a heartbeat and checking baby’s size and dates. Babies grow at the same rate during the first trimester so you can more easily tell how far along you are before some babies get bigger and some smaller. I have a whole podcast episode on those types of ultrasound as well.

You most likely won’t be able to tell gender.

Some of you may also have an extra ultrasound for nuchal translucency or any other things your provider wants a peek at.

You may deviate from these plans at any point — I’m speaking just to the GENERAL public and what MOST pregnant families should be keeping an eye on.

Want to know more first trimester tips — check out these posts:

• What Does a Faint Line on a Pregnancy Test Mean?
• 5 Do’s and Don’ts of the First Trimester
• Sleeping During Pregnancy: Tips by Trimester
• 10 Things to Do When You Find-Out You’re Pregnant
• Considering a VBAC: What to do

Month 4

(13-18 weeks — starting your 2nd trimester)

This pregnancy is starting to get serious. Those first few months were about survival, and hopefully at this point you’re looking more towards the future.

Tasks:

• Keep attending prenatal appointments that are about monthly at this point
• Start to think about a birth class, start mulling your options — I recommend this one.
• If you’re on social media, follow some smart people. Here’s my favorite on Tiktok, Youtube, and Instagram — it’s a great way to dip your toe into the learning zone.
• If your provider recommends aspirin we recommend you start it by 13 weeks, so make sure that’s a priority. If they haven’t brought it up — mention it. Everyone should be having that chat!
• Figure out your maternity benefits at work, and possibly switch to a plan that will save you money if you can (and it’s the benefit time at you / your partner’s work)
• Now is the time that most people are announcing their pregnancy to the general public << that post has more info on what to consider when deciding when to announce.

A note on social media: While there are a lot of great sources to learn from online, there are also a lot of really poor ones, so be really mindful about who you’re giving your time, your eyes and your ears to.

Month 5

(18-22 weeks)

Ok, this thing is for real. I’m going to split this up into two parts — tasks for you and tasks for this baby you’re going to need to take care of in a few months!

Tasks for you:

• Your anatomy ultrasound should be happening this month (decide if you want to know the gender in advance — although they can’t always tell)
• Pick & purchase your birth class with a goal to finish in in the next couple of months. Some insurances will cover it.
• Keep attending prenatal appointments. It can be smart to schedule a few out so you have them in your calendar.

Tasks for baby:

While you can totally put a lot of these off, I think it’s smart to be thinking about what you’ll need and what type of budget you’re going to have. Please keep in mind that everyone’s budget and priorities are very different, and that’s OK too. I was very poor with my first baby, and had more money on my 3rd. Still loved them both an awful lot.

• Think about where baby will sleep (and if you need a full room for them) and what sleep space you’ll want (bassinet, crib, playpen, etc)
• It can be smart to start stocking up on diapers early on so the expense doesn’t come as a surprise (you can also hunt for sales)
• Sign up for some freebie lists to get some coupons to apply to sales as well.

While many people are anti-formula promotions, I think it’s smart (even if you plan to breastfeed) to get as many free cans as you can and just stock them away at home — just in case you need them. You never know and I think it’s a good insurance policy. You can always give them to pregnant friends if you find you don’t need them. Formula companies have promotional lists (I list them in that freebie post) and will send you some small free cans!

Month 6

(22-27 weeks)

Ok, this baby is a real deal. You’re liking feeling kicks and jabs frequently to remind you that they’re in there! Hello baby!

Tasks for you:

• They will schedule your glucose test around now — this is super important, don’t miss it (and don’t let social media make you think it’s not important).
• Solidify more about what your work’s benefits are as far as maternity leave. There is a chance you’ll need to take them early if there is complications, so this is important to know.
• Start your birth class
• Don’t stop taking vitamins & aspirin (if recommended) — these are still important!
• Make SURE your provider is a good fit, and you’re good with the hospital they deliver at (it gets trickier to change the further along you are)
• Now really isn’t too early to take a hospital tour — just to know what to expect, or decide what one is right to you if you have some choices (that post has some great things to watch/learn on your tour).

Tasks for baby:

• Make a list of the things you need for this baby. I have a baby necessities post you might find helpful.
• If you want to, now is a good time to start searching for these items on FB marketplace or at used kids stores. You can save a lot of money on these items and they’re barely used! Sometimes it takes a while to find the item you want, but many people score GREAT deals!

Month 7

(27-31 weeks — you’re in your third trimester now!)

Those tasks for babies just sort of continue. You don’t need to feel a lot of pressure to get all the things by now, but it’s smart to slowly build your stockpile, if you can.

Tasks for you:

• Now is the time to start kick counts — they’re super important and that post shares more about them.
• Appointments may seem boring, and often — but still important to see your provider and consider any testing they recommend.
• Learn the signs of labor and watch for any preterm labor signs as you go about your day.

Not sure what kick counts are or how to do them — I have a cheat sheet here:

A note on showers: I thought about putting a shower on here, but I know a lot of people won’t have that type of support (although I wish we all did). I recommend having your shower between 25-30 weeks if you’re going to have one. It’s just nice an early in case baby comes early, and allows you to get the other items you need.

Month 8

(31-36 weeks)

Ok, now it’s time to start building that nest for baby. Some people’s babies will come during this timeframe, but most people’s won’t (and we prefer they do not).

Tasks for you:

• Keep attending appointments
• For some of you they will order 3rd trimester testing. It’s important to know what it is, what it’s checking for and how the results may alter your pregnancy (and birth hopes). The 2nd lesson in here talks about it and I think that’s so smart!
• Finish your birth class this month. Online ones are great because you can review them. This one also has key points that are like cliff notes you can review before birth.
• Rest as you can. Things are going to start getting pretty tiring, and your body needs more rest (but may also make it hard to sleep).
• Learn about some of the ways you can get your cervix ready for labor – think about which you might like to try (if any).
• Have the items you need on hand for YOU after baby is born (pads, etc) — I have a list here:

A lot of people will say to have your birth plan ready by now — and while I think a good birth plan is awesome, really understanding your choices (and learning to make the best ones for you) is the key. Most often you really need a class for this. I also recommend talking to your provider about anything that’s really important to you about your birth — not having an IV, etc as early as possible.

Tasks for baby:

By the end of this month you’re going to want to have:

• A car seat
• A sleep space
• Some diapers
• They’re not necessary, but I love some burp cloths, because babies are messy — but you can use rags if you need to!
• A bottle (just in case) — formulas and bottles if you plan to breastfeed.
• A few onesies/sleepers (depending on the time of year – and how warm/cool it is)
• I’d also recommend seeing if you can get a pump through your insurance — many people use this company (although they will try to upsell you with classes, but that can take away from any lactation visits you can have afterwards, so I wouldn’t recommend adding them). This class comes with a breastfeeding class.

It’s smart to have the bare necessities by 36 weeks, just in case baby comes.

Want to know more 3rd trimester tips? — check out these posts:

• Mistakes You’re Making That Makes Labor Longer
• How to Prepare for Childbirth
• Pumping To Induce Labor? Will it work?
• 35 Weeks Pregnant Checklist
• How To Have A Natural Hospital Birth

Month 9

36-40+ weeks

Tasks for you:

• Try to keep incorporating movement into your life. There’s no way it will look the same as it did a few months ago, but those squats will serve you well as baby heads into the birth canal.
• Avoid thinking you’re going to go early — that’s a trap a lot of people get into and then are disappointed they’re still pregnant at 38 weeks, even though that is VERY NORMAL.
• Keep going to those prenatal appointments, doing the recommended testing, doing those kick counts. All of those things are important (and yes, it does feel like you see your provider more than your family at this point).
• Around 36 weeks they offer GBS testing — I’m a fan and that article has more on it. It’s just nice to know about. They may also offer to check your cervix while you’re there as well.
• Implement the things you’d like to try to get your cervix ready (start around 36 weeks).
• Review anything from your birth class you think you’d like more info on (or if it seems like you might need those interventions like a cesarean or an induction).
• Solidify work plans — when you’ll be on leave, for how long and what paperwork you need to fill out.
• Solidify copays — make sure your insurance hasn’t changed, and be aware of how much you’ll be asked to pay at the hospital (and yes, they will likely ask for some payment — you can’t refuse that).
• I recommend packing the basics in your hospital bag (I have a post on when you should pack it)

Many people feel like they should be having another ultrasound at this point, and many will — but it actually isn’t recommended if you have a low-risk pregnancy. You can always ask your provider though if you’d like a peek, just see what they say.

There’s also a LOT I recommend knowing and “becoming” (aka, confident) at this point. However, a good birth class covers that, I think it’s such a wise investment, and really preps you along the way!

Tasks for baby:

• Install your carseat or at least the base if you have a removable one. I think this is best for the partner, as it’s a whole-body exercise. Bonus points if you get it checked at a car seat installation event (it’s trickier than you think).
• If you haven’t already, think about a:
  • Stroller
  • Diaper bag
  • Any other clothes you need
  • If you’d like a swing or bouncer
  • If you’d like a front pack

I know it can be tempting to get ALL the things early on — but it can also be smart to think about what you REALLY want or need. Every budget is different, so just manage your needs and expectations as you can.

Ok, those are the basics I can think of. What did I miss or do you have more questions? Tell us in the comments so I can flesh out this article to be more helpful for everyone!

The post Month-by-Month Pregnancy Timeline & To Do List appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

Childbirth can be a scary prospect, especially if you don’t know what to expect. You may feel like you’re on your own during this process.

Ok, let’s get on the road to prepared birth!

How to Prepare for Childbirth

Educate yourself on the different types of childbirth and what to expect

One of the best ways to prepare for labor is to educate yourself on all the different types of deliveries. This includes learning about vaginal births, cesarean sections, and induced labors (yes, it’s a good idea to have a grasp of ALL types of labors — check out my post on the different types of birth). It’s important to know what to expect during each type of delivery, as well as the risks and benefits associated with each one. Talk to your doctor about your options and what they recommend for you and your baby.

Even if you’re planning on a “regular” vaginal birth, there may be medical conditions arise that require other options. Remember, in the United States about 1/3 of pregnant women have a cesarean section, and most of those families feel very unprepared when they go unplanned into the operating room.

Many women come in with unrealistic expectations of natural birth, so be sure to figure out ALL your options as your due date approaches. Even if you’re planning on a birthing center birth, it’s good to get educated on what you might expect at a hospital birth in case you end up there (which isn’t unusual, especially if it’s your first baby).

I just read a study that said that most birth classes don’t really cover things like this — which is why I recommend this class.

Talk to your doctor or midwife about any concerns or questions you have

One of the best ways for pregnant women to prepare for childbirth is to communicate with their doctor. This includes discussing your concerns and questions, as well as getting their advice on what you can do to make your delivery as smooth as possible. It’s also important to update your doctor on any changes in your health or pregnancy, such as if you’re experiencing any complications.

You may think — oh, I’ll start doing that later, when things are more complicated, but I think that sometimes just having a birth plan helps to open these conversations up early. It gets you used to asking questions and creating that relationship with your provider.

Which brings me to….

Make a birth plan and share it with your doctor

One of the best ways to prepare for childbirth is to make a birth plan. This document will outline your preferences for labor and delivery, such as what type of delivery you would like to have and what pain relief options you would like to try. It’s important to share your birth plan with your doctor or healthcare provider so they can be sure to accommodate your wishes.

Also, if you’re planning on using a doula, you’ll want to find one early in your pregnancy so you can get on their schedule (good doulas book up quickly…).

Items to put on a birth plan

Some items that you may want to consider putting on your birth plan include:

• The type of delivery you would like to have (vaginal, c-section, etc.).
• Pain relief options you would like to try (epidural, IV pain medication, massage, etc.).
• What you would like your doctor and hospital staff to do in case of an emergency.
• Who or what family members would like to be in the delivery room with you.

I actually have a free birth plan template and tips right here:

Pack your hospital bag with everything you’ll need

Now that you’re armed with some tips on how to prepare for childbirth, it’s time to pack your hospital bag! This list will help you pack everything you’ll need for a safe and comfortable delivery.

Grab my free hospital packing list right here:

To get you started, here are a few things to consider:

• A change of clothes for you and your partner
• Toiletries, such as soap, shampoo, toothpaste, and a toothbrush
• Comfortable clothes to wear during labor, such as a loose-fitting gown or tank top
• A going-home outfit for you and your baby
• A nursing bra and a few breast pads
• Nipple cream
• Entertainment, such as books, magazines, or a tablet loaded with videos.
• Your birth plan and other important documents (like insurance information and ID).
• Phone charger
• Ear plugs and eye mask, if you want to try some light sleep (or if your partner snores).
• Car Seat

Enroll in a childbirth class to learn more about labor, birth & postpartum

If you’re feeling nervous about childbirth, enroll in a childbirth class to learn more about the process. These classes will teach you everything you need to know about giving birth, from the early stages of labor to delivery and post-birth care. They’re a great way to prepare for the big day and to get any questions you have answered by an expert.

Finding a good childbirth educator that you trust is paramount in this process. They can discuss medical interventions more in dept with you than your health care provider will be able to in this process. Make sure you find someone with LOTS of experience.

I took a hospital class with my first, but it didn’t prepare me at all (it mostly just made me a good patient).

I love that this class can be:

• Done with your partner to make them a teammate instead of just cheerleader (or even a bystander)
• Done virtually on demand— a GREAT option for busy couples who want to get prepared, but not overwhelmed
• Covers all aspects including 3rd trimester testing, unplanned interventions and managing life after baby.

Many people call that class a “one stop shop” for birth & baby prep!

Most people start a birth class in the second or third trimester (I have a whole post on when to take a prenatal class).

You may also want to consider a breastfeeding class taught by a lactation consultant or educator. That class includes one in the bundle!

When you’re looking for a class, be sure to find a class that covers:

• The stages of labor
• How to relax during labor
• What pain relief options are available
• What to expect during a c-section delivery
• What to expect in the hospital after the birth of your baby
• How to care for your newborn baby (and their umbilical cord)
• What to expect during the postpartum period
• How partner help can be a lifesaver
• How to make an informed decision with your healthcare team

Did you know that taking a prenatal class reduces your chance of a cesarean section by 10%. There’s so many benefits that go beyond just helping you feel more ready. Read the studies here.

Get your insurance in order

Birth can be a pricey affair if you’re having a home birth or giving birth in a private hospital. If you don’t have insurance, a local hospital may have a social worker you can talk to about insurance options. It is much easier to deal with this during your 40 weeks of pregnancy rather than at the birth.

Learn about the different stages of labor and what to expect

Pregnancy is an exciting time, but it can also be a little daunting, especially when it comes to childbirth. Learning about the different stages of labor can help to ease some of your anxiety.

There are three stages of labor: early labor, active labor, and transition labor.

Early labor is the longest stage and lasts for an average of 8-12 hours, during which time your cervix will slowly open and contractions will intensify.

Active labor is the shortest stage and occurs when your cervix opens to 10 centimeters.

Transition labor signals your body’s transition from active labor to pushing, which typically lasts for an average of 2 hours. With the right preparation and support, you can successfully navigate each stage of labor and welcome your baby into the world.

Most childbirth education classes will go into this in detail.

Want to know more about the stages of labor? — check out these posts:

• Stages of Labor Duration: How long does labor last?
• What do People Wish They Had Known About Before Birth?
• My #1 Tip for Hospital Birth
• What You Need To Know About Precipitous Birth (fast births)
• How to Time Going to the Hospital in Labor

Practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and visualization

One of the best ways to prepare for childbirth is to practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing techniques and visualization. These techniques can help you stay calm and relaxed during labor time, which can make the experience easier and less stressful. Ask your doctor or childbirth class instructor for more tips on how to relax during delivery.

Many people think that if they are planning for an epidural, they can skip that step. I’ve found that to be a mistake, and I recommend ALL couples learn about it. This class includes one in both options.

Often these breathing exercises help you to relax your pelvic floor muscles, so the baby can find an easier way out of your pelvis. Practicing this is a great start! You can also take prenatal yoga classes that also help with this as well.

Things that may not help prepare you:

Perineal massage — studies are mixed as to if this helps or hurts. It does seem like it can help if it’s your first baby, but I’d talk with your doctor or midwife to see if they think it will help in your case and how to best do it. I have a whole article on it.

Listening to birth stories — I find it’s rare to hear positive birth stories. Many relate the trauma the woman may have felt after delivery and postpartum. Be mindful if the stories are scaring you, if so they are likely not helping.

So, what can you do right now to prepare for childbirth?

Honestly, the best way is to take a childbirth class. These classes offer information on relaxation techniques, how to breathe, various labor positions, pain relief options, and some tips related to basic newborn care. If you haven’t taken one yet, it’s not too late! There are SO many options anymore (vs when I had babies – I needed to sign up at my hospital at 10 weeks pregnant). I would encourage you to find one that works for you

If you enjoyed this post I think you’ll like this class as well. Remember it is…

• Easily done in just a few hours (on your couch with snacks!)
• Taught by a highly educated professional
• Affordable — the three price points are meant for any budget.

Want to do a vibe check before diving into the whole thing with me? — check out my free labor pro tips. It’s your first step toward getting in the driver’s seat of your birth.

The post How to Prepare for Childbirth appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

Before we get going though, there are a LOT of tools out there that a lot of people don’t know about during pregnancy and birth. I recommend this to get your “toolbox” full!

Ok, we’re going to dive into WHY you might want to wear compression stockings, and things that would make you want to wear them.

Why Wear Compression Socks During Pregnancy

In general, compression stockings are worn to:

Stop Swelling — It uses the regular movements of your calf/feet to push the fluid back up to your heart.

Stop Pain — If fluid is pooling in your legs (may not always show as swelling — called venous insufficiency) and making it painful, socks can again help push that fluid back up to your heart.

Stop Blood Clots — Along with fluid, blood can pool in those veins in your legs and cause blood clots.

Stop Varicose Veins — Although the compression stockings won’t fix varicose veins, they can help them not get worse (larger) or hurt as much.

Pro Tip: Arteries help PUMP blood through your veins out to your body. Veins don’t pump, they just let the work from the heart and arteries push it back to the heart — it’s the “end of the journey” for your blood.

While we’re talking stockings – don’t miss my hospital bag packing list:

When To Wear Compression Stockings During Pregnancy?

In general, when you want to stop any of those things.

Many women don’t feel the need for compression stockings. If you’re young and aren’t on your feet a lot — many people don’t wear them. But, many do (or could be helped by wearing them).

Swelling

If you’re finding a lot of lower limb swelling compression stockings could help that.

Painful Legs

Although most often this is combined with swelling, but if you find your legs are very painful with standing for long periods — you may want to consider compression stockings.

If it’s an option, sitting with your fee raised is a good option to help with this as well.

Blood Clots

Due to how pregnant women’s blood functions during pregnancy (see my post on if pregnant women are immunocompromised) they are at a higher risk for blood clots.

Beyond that, there are times that blood clotting may be more likely:

Airplane Travel — since you’re stuck in one spot and aren’t moving your legs as much, you’re at a higher risk during this type of travel (or even train travel, etc) — a good time to put on the compression stockings (even if you don’t wear them other times).

Hospital Stay/ Bedrest — If you’re in the hospital or stuck on bedrest you are at a higher risk of blood clots. The only issue is that putting compression stockings on is that you may over-exert yourself putting them on. So, that would be something to weigh the risks/benefits. Even during these times you can still work your legs to prevent clots (using your feet to “step on the gas” and then lift it can help prevent cloths).

Extremely Sedentary Jobs — If you’re sitting at a desk all day, it can make clots more likely. Hopefully most workplaces will allow you to get up and stretch your legs now and then (or ask for a sitting/standing desk).

If you’re thinking, where the heck do I get these that don’t look like my grandma dressed me? — stay tuned, I’ll share some of my favorites!

When Should You Wear Compression Stockings

In general the baby/fluids are enough to really mess with you until you’re obviously showing. That means not til’ about 20 weeks or so. But, after 20 weeks if you’re having swelling, painful legs, or are at a high risk for blood clots you may want to talk to your provider about wearing them.

Great Compression Socks for Pregnancy

The good news is that there are a lot of fun compression socks out there these days. Here are some good options:

Heads up! There may be affiliate links in here – I might earn a smidge with your click. No cost to you, just good vibes! Check my boring stuff for deets.

Remember that compression stockings come at varying levels of compression. I recommend starting lower (15 mm Hg) and then building up (>30 mm Hg) if you’re still noticing the swelling (the more compressive, the harder they are to get on — and you may need your partner’s help).

** Be sure to measure your calf to pick the right size!

These come in a lot of cute stripes. Medium Compression

I like the fun heels on these — and they are a higher level of compression.

Kindred Bravely makes a lot of great maternity/pregnancy wear and people love them. These socks don’t look any different than other socks, but have a good mid-range of compression

I like the colors that these come in (less crazy, which can be good or bad depending on what you want).

I hope this helped you figure out what would be best for you.

Like I said — there is a LOT about pregnancy, birth and life after baby that can be made easier, or safer just by getting some expert tips. The Online Prenatal Class for Couples was created for just such a thing. It is:

• Fast – be done in just three hours with the main class!
• Available – taught on demand, it’s ready when you are!
• Training for TWO – turn your partner into a teammate, not just a cheerleader

Want to do a vibe check before diving into the whole thing with me? — check out my free labor pro tips. It’s your first step toward getting in the driver’s seat of your birth.

The post When Should I Start Wearing Compressions Stockings During Pregnancy? appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

Whether you’re planning for an Unmedicated Birth or simply want comprehensive Pregnancy Information, taking the time to explore various Birthing Classes can make a big difference. Through these resources, you’ll learn pain management techniques, breathing exercises, and how to prepare for labor both mentally and physically.

Which Childbirth Class for Smart Couples?

FYI, When it comes to preparing for labor, expecting parents have a multitude of birth class options to choose from, including Lamaze classes, birthing classes, and other childbirth education courses. However, many educated couples are opting for The Online Prenatal Class for Couples due to its unique advantages. With a highly experienced instructor, this class offers essential pregnancy information and effective birthing techniques within a convenient 3-hour timeline.

Couples appreciate the ease of accessing the content from home, allowing them to fit this vital birth preparation into their busy schedules. This streamlined approach not only covers the key aspects of a positive labor and delivery experience but also empowers couples with the knowledge and confidence they need for a smooth transition into parenthood.

Why Birth Classes Matter for Busy Couples

Birth classes are an essential investment for busy couples preparing for the arrival of their little one. The Online Prenatal Class for Couples offers a comprehensive approach to childbirth education, ensuring that both partners are well-informed and ready for the journey ahead.

Through engaging content and practical resources, this class covers everything from understanding the stages of labor to creating a personalized birth plan. Couples will also learn effective labor pain management techniques and breathing exercises to enhance their confidence during the birthing process.

This online class allows couples to gain valuable insights at their own pace, making it an ideal choice for those juggling a hectic schedule.

Choosing the Right Birthing Classes for Your Schedule

Selecting the right birthing classes is crucial for busy couples, and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples offers the flexibility you need. This class is designed for expecting parents with packed schedules, allowing you to learn about pregnancy information, labor preparation, and birthing techniques from the comfort of your home.

With on-demand access, you can choose when to participate, ensuring that you can fit this important education into your lives seamlessly. This online class empowers you to prepare effectively for your labor and delivery, equipping both partners with the knowledge and skills to support each other through the process.

Childbirth Education: What Every Couple Needs to Know

Every couple deserves to feel prepared for the arrival of their baby, and that’s where The Online Prenatal Class for Couples comes in. This class provides essential childbirth education, covering vital topics such as labor pain management, breathing techniques, and how to create a practical birth plan.

With a focus on unmedicated birth options and a supportive environment, this online course equips you with the confidence and knowledge you need for a smooth labor experience. It’s the perfect resource for first-time parents, ensuring that you’re ready to embrace the challenges and joys of childbirth together.

Looking for a class that’s well-priced. Check out my post on affordable birth classes, and I also have one on the best free birth classes online!
There’s also a decent chance your insurance will cover the class!

Benefits of Lamaze Classes for a Confident Labor

Many of our mom’s might have used a traditional Lamaze class to get ready to have us back in their day. Those types of classes that just focus on breathing are a thing of the past.

The Online Prenatal Class for Couples offers the benefits of traditional Lamaze classes but with the added convenience of online learning.

Couples will discover evidence-based strategies for achieving a confident and empowered labor and delivery experience. Through this course, you’ll learn essential breathing techniques and labor tips that will help manage discomfort naturally.

With a focus on teamwork and communication, this class prepares both partners to support one another throughout the stages of labor, ensuring a positive and fulfilling birth experience.

Must-Have Pregnancy Information for a Smooth Labor

Having the right pregnancy information is key to a smooth labor experience, and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples provides just that.

This class covers everything you need to know about early labor, stages of labor, and effective labor tips for making informed decisions during childbirth.

By creating a detailed birth plan with the guidance provided, you’ll feel empowered and ready for whatever comes your way. Additionally, the class includes resources on postpartum recovery and newborn care, ensuring you are well-prepared for life with your new baby.

Lessons in The Online Prenatal Class for Couples include:

• 3rd Trimester Testing & what to go into the hospital for
• Understanding Contractions
• How to know if you are in labor
• Hospital Routines
• Hospital Supplies
• Inductions
• Pain Management
• What happens at delivery
• C-sections
• My best tips for L&D
• After baby in the hospital
• First few months after baby

Prenatal Classes: Building Skills for a Positive Birth Experience

Birth classes come by many names — childbirth classes, hospital classes, maternity or antenatal classes. Most often prenatal classes are often referred to as the ones at the hospital — which can be nice, because you likely plan to deliver in a hospital.

Prenatal classes are an invaluable resource, and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples offers an engaging and comprehensive curriculum that builds the skills necessary for a positive birth experience.

Couples will learn about birthing techniques, labor preparation, and effective communication with healthcare providers. With a focus on creating a supportive environment, this class helps partners understand their roles during labor and delivery, making the journey into parenthood feel like a shared adventure.

The flexibility of online learning allows you to revisit content as needed, ensuring you’re thoroughly prepared for the big day.

Practical Ways to Prepare for Labor Together

Preparing for labor together is a transformative experience, and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples offers practical steps to help you feel confident and ready.

One of the key features of this class is the guidance it provides for creating a comprehensive birth plan, including preferences for labor pain management and natural childbirth techniques. You’ll also receive a helpful hospital bag checklist to ensure you have everything you need when the time comes.

With the convenience of online access, you can learn at your own pace, making it easier to integrate this vital preparation into your busy lives.

Planning for an Unmedicated Birth: Tips and Techniques

If you’re considering an unmedicated birth, The Online Prenatal Class for Couples is your ultimate resource for planning a positive and empowering experience.

This class teaches essential breathing techniques and labor tips specifically designed for natural childbirth, allowing you to feel well-prepared and confident. You’ll gain insights into the stages of labor and practical strategies for managing discomfort without medication.

Additionally, creating a birth plan that aligns with your desires for an unmedicated experience becomes a collaborative effort, ensuring both partners are on the same page. With the flexibility of online learning, you can revisit lessons as needed, equipping yourselves with the tools necessary for a successful labor journey.

Labor Preparation: In Conclusion:

In summary, preparing for labor is an exciting and important step for expecting couples, and choosing the right prenatal class is key to feeling confident and ready. With so many options out there, online prenatal education stands out as an ideal choice for busy couples.

Offering expert childbirth education, essential pregnancy information, and practical birthing techniques, these classes provide everything you need in a flexible, time-saving format. Whether you’re interested in an unmedicated birth or simply want to feel more in control of the labor and delivery process, online prenatal classes offer a comprehensive solution.

With easy access, expert instruction, and a focus on labor preparation, couples can confidently face the upcoming birth experience, knowing they’re fully prepared and empowered.

Remember The Online Prenatal Class for Couples was created for busy couples like yourself:

• It is taught by an expert
• It’s meant to prepare both of you — together (as a team)
• It can be done in just a few hours, leaving you lots of time to prepare in other ways.

Preparing for labor involves much more than just knowing the stages of labor; it’s about gaining the pregnancy care, pregnancy preparation, and pregnancy help needed for a smooth transition into parenthood. Couples who opt for online prenatal classes benefit from expert childbirth education, which covers everything from creating a personalized birth plan to exploring birthing techniques like the Bradley method and Lamaze classes. The convenience of online classes allows you to easily incorporate labor prep into your busy schedule, ensuring you’re ready for both early labor and delivery preparation. With access to hospital bag checklists, newborn care tips, and postpartum planning, you’ll feel empowered and informed every step of the way. Whether you’re a first-time mom or just looking for pregnancy information, online prenatal education is an essential tool for preparing for natural childbirth and achieving a healthy birth and healthy pregnancy.

The post Master Labor Preparation: How Online Classes Help Couples Thrive appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.

Before we get started I do agree there are completely wrong and right ways to make a birth plan… get my best tips to make YOUR birth plan (plus a free printable to do it) right here:

Honestly, I hadn’t seen a lot of studies about what a birth plan does, so I was really excited to see this one.

Source: Naaz Shareef, Naomi Scholten, Marianne Nieuwenhuijze, Claire Stramrood, Marieke de Vries, Jeroen van Dillen, The role of birth plans for shared decision-making around birth choices of pregnant women in maternity care: A scoping review, Women and Birth, Volume 36, Issue 4,

It identified 5 ways that a birth plan can help — let’s define those a bit:

Shared Decision-Making

This is another way of saying informed consent, or just getting the information from your provider and then you making the ultimate choice surrounding your birth.

Why would this be?

I think it’s because you have told the providers you want an active role in making choices. For those of you reading this article, you might be shocked at the MANY people who come to the hospital and really just want providers to make choices for them.

Your birth plan shows us you’re prepared and you want to be a partner in this process. It’s honestly exciting for us to hear that — most birth workers REALLY want that!

Want to know more information on informed consent — check out these posts:

• Why is Informed Consent Important?
• 5 Things Your Provider Should Get Consent For During Labor
• Advocating For Yourself in Labor

Autonomy

This means you feel like the birth is yours, and you’re driving the bus (and making the choices). We all like to feel autonomous. For me, personally, I feel like an adult when I’m working with autonomy — because I’m in charge.

Why would this be?

I think often people don’t realize all the choices that there ARE in labor – so, when you’ve thought about them in advance, that’s a big win.

Again, you’re also showing us you do want to make those choices — so, you’re able to!

Sense of Control

Again — people feel like they are making the choices and have some control in something that is entirely uncontrollable.

Why would this be?

I really think that when you have a properly-prepared birth plan, you realize that you don’t control everything, but you realize that there are aspects that you can control.

Similar to like a toddler where you’re asking them if they want the red cup or the green cup, it helps them feel in charge, even though they can NOT have the pink cup (because it’s in the dishwasher).

In this choice you get to decide what you’re wearing, but you can’t decide that your water happened to break at home a bit early.

Want to know more about control in labor — check out these posts:

• 5 Things You CAN Control in Labor (mostly)
• Pitocin to Induce Labor
• The MOST Traumatic things in Labor & Delivery

Professionalism of the Care Provider

People seemed to think that their team was more professional. This is awesome, and something I think a lot of people want.

Why would this be?

Honestly, I think this is because you’ve hopefully done your research in advance, you’re educated and prepared to BE professional in the labor setting. When you come as a professional, we come as a professional too.

When you’re nervous and you take it out on us (by yelling or being disrespectful) we tend to be less-professional, even if we should try hard not to.

Want to know more about providers in obstetrics — check out these posts:

• The Best Providers for Your Baby’s Arrival: A Deep Dive with CNM Juli Pyle
• Picking Your Pregnancy Healthcare Provider
• Tips To Saying No To Your Provider
• The Benefits of a Midwife

Soapbox: Often I hear people saying they have an issue with something like a cervical exam, or IV’s because they have personal issues surrounding that area. The professional thing to do would be to handle that with a therapist, rather than plan on the hospital staff dealing with your issues. While we all have our issues being mindful of what’s a “you” thing and what’s an “us” thing can help! I talk about this more in this video:

Trust

These people trusted their healthcare team more (which is awesome).

Why would this happen?

I think it would be that each action shows that you’re in charge, and we’re checking with you before doing something. You’re showing us you want that — and we’re giving it to you (likely, gladly).

Other Studies on Birth Plans:

After looking at that article, I looked to see what other things I found:

This one showed there was no difference in either experience or outcome.

This review showed less cesareans and better birth experiences.

Here’s a few other things I found in that review

Source: Kohan S, Hajihashemi M, Valiani M, Beigi M, Mohebbi-Dehnavi Z. Maternal-infant outcomes of birth planning: A review study. J Educ Health Promot. 2023 Sep 29;12:315. doi: 10.4103/jehp.jehp_1450_22. PMID: 38023070; PMCID: PMC10670885.

• Less epidural use
• More likely to initiate breastfeeding in the birth room
• Babies had similar outcomes compared to those without one (it didn’t do anything bad).
• More likely to have a small tear
• Less Likely to have a cesarean section
• More likely to have an epidural (studies are tricky like this — one of the studies showed this, which I thought was interesting)
• Combined with a birth class you can decrease cesarean rates

As you can tell a lot of these contradicted themselves, and often a study can be made to “prove” whatever it is what you’re hoping for.

My Experience With Birth Plans as an L&D RN.

While studies are amazing, what do bedside nurses see about birth plans.

I think that birth plan creators run in two camps:

1. People who are MARRIED to this birth plan, and believe that by writing it down it will happen.
2. People who have just put down their hopes and dreams, but are willing to flex as needed.

Personally, those in group one (married to it) I haven’t seen the best outcomes. They’re trying to control something that is entirely uncontrollable and they’re unwilling to be flexible. Often they get a dose of the uncontrollable the more they try to control things — again — this is just my experience. I really want that birth plan too!

Sometimes their poor outcome is also based on them mourning the birth they thought they could have vs what did happen. Maybe poor expectations vs what the reality was created trauma for them. That’s something that can be prevented in advance (and we’ll talk more about that).

Want to know more about birth trauma — check out these posts:

• 4 Ways to Prevent Birth Trauma Before, During or After Birth
• Preventing Birth Trauma
• How to Prevent a Poor Birth Experience: Prenatal prevention of birth trauma
• 3 Ways to Prevent Birth Trauma: Make your birth amazing with a few mind shifts!
• What To Do If Your Labor Goes Long?

However, people in group two (the flexible ones) tend to have better outcomes (and a better experience overall). These patients…

• Have thought about labor and what they’d prefer if given the option
• Flexible and know that they really don’t have control over all the things
• Hopefully have talked with their provider about their hopes and wishes about their upcoming birth.

Sharing your birth plan early and often with your provider (doctor or midwife) is one of the most important things I go over in my birth plan series. Learning how to integrate it into your regular prenatal care is so important (and smart)!

The reality is that you need some education, AND a birth plan. It’s really not just a check sheet on what you want, it’s being informed on what the choices are/could be.

Sometimes taking a “birth class” can feel really overwhelming and like it’s just too much.

I get that feeling. I get overwhelmed really easily, and birth is a BIG topic. Which is why I created something that would not overwhelm you, but WOULD get you prepared.

The Online Prenatal Class for Couples is just that. I’ll educate you on your options and show you what types of interventions are common, so you’re not caught off guard frequently in your upcoming hospital birth. PLUS we also help you get prepped for postpartum — which is an area a lot of people miss!

If you’re thinking I just want to make a good birth plan, I also can help you with that:

The post What a Birth Plan Can ACTUALLY Do For Your Birth? appeared first on The Pregnancy Nurse®.